Worst luck ever
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| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 7:16am |
Does anyone else out there feel like they have the worst luck when it comes to dating? I've been interested in 4 guys in the past 6 months all of whom I met online and they've all "ghosted" on me generally after the third date. In retrospect, I can usually see the signs as to why this happened - one was most likely due to his lack of the ability to "perform" the first time we slept together. The second had just gotten out of a long term relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious. The third was a workoholic and the fourth was a workaholic and/or just interested in sex. I guess I'm better off finding out early on that they are not the one for me, but it is still frustrating. The icing on the cake came yesterday after I had set up two dates with guys I met online and they both cancelled on me due to "not feeling well." What are the chances?? Plus they only seemed somewhat interested in re-scheduling. I know that everyone has their share of bad luck but for me I feel like I've had more than my fair share. I've now been single for 2 years now and I feel like I'm trying so hard to find someone while for my friends, boyfriends just fall in their laps. Plus I'll be 33 in a month so is causing some added pressure on myself.
Positively, I'm very fortunate in all other aspects of my life - good job, friends, family, etc. but I can't help but focus on the one thing that is missing - someone to share all that I have with. I try to keep up hope, but when two dates in one day cancel, I'm wondering if it's just never going to happen for me. I'm thinking I should take a break from the online dating since it hasn't worked out for me over the last year and a half but I feel like it's my only viable option since I'm really not good at approaching men that I see out, nor are there any options at work, nor through being set up through friends. Can anyone offer any advice/hope??

Not to sound like a broken record, but truly, it does sound to me like you've merely had a string of bad luck. I wouldn't rule out online dating completely (although it certainly isn't for everyone)...but do you really think these scenarios couldn't have played themselves out in a "real life" meet type situation?
I don't.
I also don't think (as hard as that may be) that you should beat yourself over this. Online dating takes time. And yes...you'll meet PLENTY of frogs along the way. We've all been there- some of us more than others, but it's a big sea out there and there are plenty of duds too! :)
Perhaps taking a break from OLD isn't such a bad idea. I find that I need to do that from time to time myself, if anything, just to enjoy the other things that are going well in my life...such as work, family, friends, hobbies.
Try to see that when something doesn't work out (your date flakes out at the last minute, he didn't have good intentions, etc) that this is all part of the weeding out process. These guys weren't right for you, and by moving on, you are keeping the door open to meeting the guy (and yes, he is out there) who is out there waiting for you. It's just a matter of crossing paths.
Don't despair, it just takes a little time :)
Agree.
Hmmmm, I'm new at this but I think you should adjust your goals a bit to improve your luck.
You sound like you are looking for Mr. Right. Can I suggest that you stop looking for Mr. Right and just look for Mr. Date? If your goal is to meet guys and go out on dates, look how your luck in the last 6 months just shifted! You dated 4 guys! Some of them more than once, and got to sorta have sex with at least one of them! Wow, that sounds very lucky to me. I haven't had anything resembling a date in 2-3 years and the last time I had sex with my ex over a year ago he failed to perform also. And he is a workaholic. And he cancels on me (and my kids) constantly.
So you see, things are looking up for you---i would love to have your kind of luck! Hope it continues!
I firmly belive that somewhere along the way you will find Mr. Right when you least expect it!!!