Would You....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Would You....
19
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:24pm

I am not 100% sure that the guy I mentioned in my other post is married and want to know if you guys would ask that question.

Claribeth

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:30pm
No, I ask how long he has been divorced!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:35pm
So how do you figure anything out that way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:58pm

Figure what out? If he's married or not? If he's married and contacting women on a dating site, he surely wouldn't admit being married if you asked.

I think you're asking me how I can know if a guy is married or not?

Brings to mind a guy I started emailing with. We emailed back and forth daily for a week (got carried away with the interesting/witty reparte). Anyway, I noticed something interesting:

a) he always emailed around midnight or after. Always explaining he had just got in from wherever.
b) he did not respond to my subtle hints to meet up nor did he ask to meet with me.
c) when I finally flat out asked, I didn't hear from him for 2 days. He had to "check his schedule". Why that took 2 days I don't know. MY calendar is next to me on my desk.

These were red flags to me that said he was unattached. I told him what I thought and wished him the best of luck.

Did I answer your question, cb?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 10:01pm

So, how long have you been divorced for...?

That's all you need to ask (at first).

Some states let you look up divorce records.

(Note: For CT Lurkers -- the URL is http://www.jud2.state.ct.us/Civil_Inquiry/GetParty.asp)

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cbmroz
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 10:12pm

I would ask, assuming he says he's divorced in his profile, "how long has your divorce been final?". If he's separated but not yet divorced, you might find out the truth that way. If he's married and not separated, I doubt he would be truthful with you anyway.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:06pm

I had a simliar situation to amjay's. He would email me at odd hours (after midnight or very early in the morning). He only gave me his office number and would send me emails that would say, "Call me now. I'm in my office." So I asked him flat out, via email because I wasn't just sitting at my computer waiting for the all clear to call him. And yep, he ghosted. What a goofball!

So that experience had taught me to just ask. If they're not, they shouldn't have a problem with it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 2:09am
Here's a question: Did he post a picture in his profile?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 10:26am

No...and that made me suspicious too...

I have dated guys that did not post a pic and were not married though. I'm starting to feel pretty sure that he is...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 10:44am
What makes you think he's married?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 5:01pm

I've noticed that he's not callling me in the evenings. It's always during the day when he's working.

And the fact that he identified himself by his middle name...

He has not given me his home number, either.

A couple of other guys I'm talking to have given me their home numbers.

I'm just going to stop taking his calls.

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