Would you call the day after sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Would you call the day after sex?
40
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 4:37pm

Would you absolutely make sure that you would call within 24 hours, and not wait until the following day to call? Even if it turned out that you weren't that interested in the other person? Would it make a difference if the sex was bad or good?
To me, waiting two days is too long - I like to hear from the other person the very next day - I sort of feel its at least courteous.
Please note: I don't really want to get into a discussion about whether or not to have sex outside of a long term committed relationship. I'm just wondering if you think it's common courtesy for the guy to at least call the girl the day after, regardless of whether it's good or bad. I just sort of feel that 2 days is being a jerk, especially if the guy is just putsing around the next day - I mean, at least take 5 frekin minutes out of your day to give a courtesy call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 6:05pm
The only reason I know it's good to call a woman within 24hrs after sex is because I read message boards. Prior to that I would call the next time I wanted to set-up a date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 6:20pm
wow. See, that totally blows my mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 6:27pm

Were you raised by wolves? LOL

I bet even Yukon would scratch on the door the next day.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 6:37pm
But it blows your mind b/c you are a woman and associate emotions with sex. Not that men don't, but definitely not to the degree that women do esp. early in a relationship. You've seen When Harry Met Sally, right? Perfect example - they talk a lot about the differences between men and women's views about sex. All right on the money.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 6:42pm

I don't know if it is 'emotions' per se. I just think it is courteous. And I would especially think someone in their mid 30's through mid 50's is quite capable of picking of the phone for a 5 minute courteous "hi, how are you". No relationship strings attached. No emotions involved. No deep feelings that weren't there before. Just common courtesy.

If the guy doesn't call (and I've had that happen before as well) it reminds me too much of college days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 7:28pm

If he doesn't call you the next day, in most cases... you have already been dismissed.

No need to launch him yourself, that ship has probably already sailed.

Personally, if I am going to sleep with him, it is only after I am 99% confident that I don't have to play this will he/won't he call me. If he is a gentleman and he is into you, he will call. If the sex was bad or he doesn't want to see you again, he won't call. I personally don't want a 'thanks for the sex, but I don't want to see you again' call.

If I am not confident he will call, it means one to many margarita's probably got the better of me and I would rather he didn't call to save us both the embarrasement of acknolwedging bad judgement.




Edited 3/1/2005 7:33 pm ET ET by theclevergirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 7:52pm

Why would that blow your mind? If a guy has sex with a woman he's casual dating, the only difference is THAT NIGHT, he had sex after the date. No big deal*.

But if the guy KNOWS that women like to hear from a guy the next day, he should make the phone call a priority. If your friend thinks her guy KNOWS, then that says a lot about what he thinks of her; if he really doesn't have a clue... then his inaction is meaningless.

*I'm not trying to minimize First Time Sex. In the context of the discussion, I'm just saying that some guys don't KNOW how much a woman likes to hear her phone ring the day after.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 7:53pm
I'll take that bet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 8:01pm
I say, good for Johnandhisdog, for admitting that men don't know what they are supposed to do until we tell them! :)
Not being sexually active at this moment, but hoping to be, I decided, just recently, that in fact I would let any man KNOW--no matter how close we are--that I expect a phone call the next day after we first sleep together. No point in expecting men to figure out these "fine points" of etiquette.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 8:09pm
see... now if only more of you would do that...