would you date a guy like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2010
would you date a guy like this?
19
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 10:58am

Hi all.

I do not want to offend anybody on this board with this post, so please forgive me for what I'm about to write about and ask for advice.

There's this guy on POF who contacted me a couple of weeks ago. I read through his profile and the profile is filled with spelling mistakes, poor grammar, etc. I wrote back to him that we would not be a good match together.

He wrote back to me at a later time a longer email talking about his family and how he would come to NYC next month to see me. Again, the email was written kind of poorly, but you can get the idea what he's trying to say.

Just before, I was on this site and he wrote me another email, asking me why hasn't he heard from me; had I been busy lately?

He's cute looking, *supposedly* a firefighter (most of his photos has him in uniform), and he lives in Upstate NY (I'm in NYC). Under the section of the site where you list down your "smarts", he just has "N/A". If he was a firefighter, aren't you supposed to have at least some college education? Then again, he's from a small town in Upstate -- maybe they don't require it???

I'm thinking he may be mentally challenged or something. I'm not perfect either, but I get this fear that he may be a scammer? I could understand a few typos in his profile or emails, but it just reads like as though he's never gone to school.

Ok, I'm being lured by his good looks...I'm tempted to write back to him, but something else is telling me I better not and ignore his great looks.

What would you all do in this case?

I apologize if I offended anyone.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 12:15pm
I think that in a small town you could probably be a firefighter w/ just a high school education. I don't know--to put it bluntly, how dumb does he sound? There are some otherwise smart people who have difficulty spelling, but if he is not a foreign person and he can't seem to write a complete sentence, that wouldn't be good for me. I have a grad degree & I couldn't see myself w/ someone who wasn't intelligent--now my 1st DH only had a high school education but he wasn't dumb--he read a lot, was up on current events, etc. So we could certainly carry on conversations.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 12:49pm

"hi good afternoon. i read your profile and like it. i'm intersting to chat with you."

That was the very first email he sent to me. Don't want to cut and paste his second email because of privacy reasons.

He wanted to IM me before, but I just kept pressing "No". He is not a person from a foreign country.

I just sent him another "turn down" email, trying not to be mean to him. I wonder if he'll get the hint this time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 9:51am

I do not think firefighters have to have a college degree. I think having a degree gets them more money.

He could have one and just have been too lazy to fill that part of his profile out.

Just for the record...I have a "Some College" education. I have friends who have degrees. I am better at writing, spelling, and grammar than they are. One friend in particular, her emails to me make me CRINGE. It bothers me, because I can't get a job as an administrative assistant because I don't have a degree or experience; she has a degree and gets jobs like that, even though she has poor writing skills. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 6:30pm

Ok, so this is a follow up to what I did...

I mentioned that I sent him another turn down email. He was like, "Fine. I respect you. Then, something in me said to really give him a chance (darn his good looks! lol!). So, I wrote back to him.

He wrote back to me. Turns out that he is deaf. So, could this be an "Aha!" moment and explains why his grammar/spelling is so poor? I apologized to him that I did not know he was deaf until he brought it up.

I told this story to a friend of mine and he said that some people can be terrible writers, but they present themselves differently in person. His fiance is like that -- writes/spells terribly, but in person, he understands her. Then again, she IS a foreigner.

Ok, I am sooo sounding like an ignorant a**. I am soooo sorry if I do sound it. Do not mean to.

He's supposed to come down to NYC next month. I told him that I would be interested in meeting him. Today, I started researching places where I can learn sign language.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 8:58pm

A deaf firefighter?? Seriously?? Uhmmmm... so how's he supposed to hear his radio calling him out of a fire cause it's too dangerous?

Yeah, *maybe* he's doing some work around the station, but I highly doubt he's out fighting fire. Fire scenes are pretty chaotic .... and people who use sign language "miss" a lot of communication. I highly doubt those 2 things go together.... it is not safe.

Good luck with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 12:06am
After
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 2:06pm

Hi and welcome. From what he said-

"hi good afternoon. i read your profile and like it. i'm intersting to chat with you."

This to me doesn't sound like someone who just has poor grammar and spelling. To me, this sounds like someone who doesn't speak English as their first language. My vote is that he is a scammer, and most likely not a native English speaker. Not that there's anything wrong with that but I don't believe he is who he appears to be.

I hope you will keep yourself safe! (HUGS)

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:01pm

I have read all the posts so far and had put one of my own up already. I just have to say that I think everyone is making too much out of this.


I have met several guys thru OLD that had poorly written profiles and not perfect spelling. Being face to face with them and talking was a different story! I wonder if the guys are as concerned about spelling as the gals are? Oh, and most guys have a hard time with typing....


Well, that's just my two cents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:35pm
I completely agree, Tasha. This is a scammer. You can tell because it's clear that English isn't his native language (as you already stated). The OP said "He is not a person from a foreign country", but that's impossible to tell from a photo and from what a person tells you. On the Internet, you can portray to be anyone. There are several Internet sites that provide the actual photos that scammers use and you can browse through them (just Google "dating scam photo database"). Scammers run rampant on these dating sites.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 7:43am

(just Google "dating scam photo database")


Whether or not this person is a scammer, that's good info to know.

Photobucket

Pages