Would you recommend eharmony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Would you recommend eharmony?
15
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 12:43am

Hi everybody!

I've done match.com and yahoo personals. I was considering eharmony, but I don't really know if it is worth it. Do they let you do searches? (the whole process seems too structured)? Those of you who have tried it, are you satisfied with the results? I don't know to what extent their "new scientific approach to match making" really works, vs being simply a marketing gimmick... I did their homongous questionnaire (over 350 questions), and my psychological profile seems to be pretty accurate...yet, I don't want to go into it with too high expectations.

Honestly, I am tired of meeting men on the other dating sites, whose biggest assets -- judging by their profiles -- turn to be their most serious problems... like this guy, whose header read "keep it simple" and he turned out to be this hyperanalyzing, baggage-ridden nutcase who drove me crazy in the 3 weeks that we were dating... I know, I know I am responsible for my choices, but do you think that eharmony's suposedly more evolved matchmaking process can really help you weed out the incompatible people (I am skeptic, to tell you the truth)? Well, I really need your advice!

Thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 9:50am

I have done a LOT of different sites but eH is the one I keep coming back to.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 12:23pm
Hi Fiesty,
I am on eharmony. Once you do some weeding out, there are not tons of matches, but they appear to be higher quality. I expect to meet lotsa frogs before the prince comes along. You can not browse, but for me that was important. I don't want people to 'randomly' find me online. I have now posted a picture on there, because there is no browsing. I have met 2 people in person, and although they weren't the 'right' one, they were genuinely nice people. There was a third, who emailed for awhile, set up a first meet, then apparently drove by me to see what I look like and kept on driving(no pics of me back then). I wrote back and suggested that instead of spending his money on eharmony he should think about a shrink...
Anyway, good luck to you.
E
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2004
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 1:28am

Thanks Vexer for the promotional code. Unfortunately it did not work for me. It said it was for previous subscribers, which I was...a little over a year ago. I think it was a sign from above telling me it wasn't time yet. When I went to get the promotional code from your email, it was nowhere to be found. Then I found it in the trash mail, then they won't let me use the code. Oh well, there are reasons for everything.

Again, thanks for your time in sending it to me;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2006
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 9:50pm

Hi,

I hate to sound like a commercial, especially since this is my first post, but I met my fantastic boyfriend of over a year at eHarmony, after trying Lavalife, canada.com and other sites. So I would highly recommend it. I liked that they at least somewhat screened people before sending them to you (although I still got a reply from a man who wanted a "traditional" woman...needless to say, I left him unmet.) And it was better than sifting through profiles of questionable accuracy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 9:56pm
My problem with e-harmony is most of the men did not share photos immediately. And when they did, I could see why.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 10:12am

I did the eharmony profile over a year ago and ended up with only one match who lived about 300 miles from me, and I never even saw a photo of the guy. Unless they have changed some things about the site, it did not seem like a viable option for me. I think their profiling is almost "too" restricting while it seemed to ignore my perimeters of distance as far as who I was willing to meet or correspond with (within a reasonable driving distance).

And while looks are not everything, I think it is important to at least know what the other person looks like before you start corresponding with them. I did write an e-mail to the company a while later and told them this. They did respond back, but I don't know if you can now see photos of your matches before you agree to correspond. It seems riskier in some ways than some of the other sites while at the same time, getting fewer matches because the profiling is so restrictive. I remember their questionnaire being a bit too lengthy, and does it really matter on some of the questions they ask? I couldn't care less about some of the things that were asked, and I'd hate to think I might would have missed out on a decent guy because he prefers a walk-in theatre as opposed to a drive-in or outdoor concert or something ridiculous (can't remember some of the dumb questions I answered), but you get the idea.

To this day, I still hate the commericals I see for e-harmony. I think it's sort of misleading to show all these people who are now engaged or married when they mention nothing about all the matches that went no where. Just my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 10:55am

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Well, it's the same thing with Match.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 11:16am

Thanks everybody for answering my post!

I did subscribe to eharmony 2 weeks ago (and thanks vex for the coupon!)

I absolutely agree with you: their matching system doesn't really work (as claimed in the commerials!). POlitical convictions are really important to me and I do get matches of the opposite political hue (which really irks me: what happened to your 29 dimensions , people?!!! Match and Yahoo Personals do a way better job at this!!!!) ditto for materialism (can't stand it and got several matches who were raving about how "what they were most grateful for" is their income, how all the "three things they can't live with out" -- these are rubrics in the profile -- are "money, money, money"... Well, I wrote to eharmony, but I don't think that will make a difference -- although it is very easy to add a rubric in "my settings" about political convictions... I know, one might say that I shouldn't be complaining given that I picked up on these differences, but I, esp. with politics I am really annoyed and don't think I should wait until we get to open communication to find out (the process is a lot of busywork as it is...)

Oh, and even though it's only been two weeks, I already got matched with two guys from Match, people I know I have very little in common about (do remember their profiles... )

Overall, I think it is OK (one wonders whehter the supposed "higher quality" of the guys there is not simply due to the fact that they most probably really want a relationship, if they are ready to pay eharmony's exorbitant prices...)

Thanks again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 11:24am
I failed to mention that I think eharmony is higher priced than some of the others. I was most disappointed that I was not able to see any photos beforehand. Maybe it works for some, but I was not impressed with it. I realize nothing is ideal. I think all of the online dating is a hit and miss thing. Some are lucky, but many are not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 2:11pm
I previously posted something similar in a different thread, but just wanted to add my experience about eharmony. My ex boyfriend of over a year was actively pursuing multiple matches on eharmony while living with me. A friend received his profile and sent three emails to eharmony telling them this person was obviously dishonest and they did not contact him or remove him from the site.
Just want everyone to know that although the screening process is more restrictive than other sites, dishonest people can still make their way through the system..

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