Wow, the guy was rude

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Wow, the guy was rude
12
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 10:11pm

When the guy I saw yesterday e-mailed to tell me he was sorry he "disappointed" me, I e-mailed back and said he didn't look at all like his picture... I was kinda shocked. But I told him I had fun and that we could be friends.

He responded by telling me I was rude and uncouth, and insulted my pictures and how I looked in person...

Did I deserve that response????

Pages

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 10:23pm

No, of course not. Even if you had been rude to him (and it doesn't sound like you were), that doesn't justify being rude back.

How did he know he had "disappointed" you, though?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 10:33pm
I honestly don't know how he knew...maybe because I didn't contact him right away and he assumed...
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 10:42pm

Weird! Sounds like "delete and block" is in order!

Sheri

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:47am

It always amazes me how people have the gutless courage to slam you online. Hiding behind a computer screen enables so many to stop being courteous.

Delete and Block .. I second that!

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 4:09pm

I definitely don't think you deserved the response, but any more, I've definitely learned that the less said the better.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 7:00pm

he was looking for touble the minute he emailed u and said he was sorry he "disapointed" you! I would not worry too much about what you did wrong. most probably he would have acted the same way regardless of what you did or said!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 9:48pm
I agree with all who responded and feel sooooooo much better. As someone said, I should have responded more vaguely....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 11:01am
Remember, no one is attractive to everyone. It is possible that he did not find you as attractive as you think you are or some others think. We all have different views, tastes, preferences and opinions. He probably was just being tactful by not saying so initially. I know I would never be so rude as to tell a person something so superficial but I also do not place looks as the top priority. You do not owe or need to give an explanation, just tell them you are not interested, therefore you will not likely be insulted back. Also in the future state you want recent photos. I did that in my profile jokingly by saying "please no photos from 20 years ago". I also stated that I like to use my digital camera and my photos are all very recent within a few months, so they would know I expect the same. Actually I have experienced more guys saying they are athletic and toned and they are just plain thin with a little gut etc., I have more muscle tone than they do. Also most guys lie about their height too. Yikes, talk about crazy, but I never said a word to any of them, I used tact. Only one guy fit the description of athletic and toned, and he really is 6'3", and I am going to see him again tonight.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 12:36pm

I use to ask my online dates at our first meeting is that if I looked like my posted picture(s). I always get a "yes" which makes me feel good. It is important for me to represent myself accurately for I'd rather not waste either party's time. I would rather get "rejected" up front than further down the road.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 1:12pm
Yes, that is a good idea, but accurate to you may not be perceived as accurate to everyone else as everyone has their own opinion on body type/shape. I was just stating that I have experienced many thin out of shape poeple who think they are in shape or athletic and toned. Guys who smoke that probably couldn't make it up a flight of stairs without being out of breath even though they are thin. I'd rather have a real athletic and toned guy with a few extra pounds on top of muscle than a skinny smoker guy, but that is just my personal preference. Also many unhealthy people can look normal/thin but be very unhealthy or out of shape such as smokers, drug users and those with eating disorders. I am more concerned with overall health such as respecting the body by not smoking, using drugs, drinking too much or sleeping around(high std risk)more than a # on a scale or chart. True health and fitness involves all of these factors.

Pages