Wow..very weird situation!
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| Fri, 06-24-2005 - 10:21am |
So I get an email from a guy on match.com, very cute, tall, seems to have a lot of the characteristics that I look for. I write him back and ask if he has a messenger service since I see he is online at the time. He does and we chat back and forth through a minute (just a lot easier than email). So I start asking him questions, where is he from, what he does for a living, and then it all comes together.....
This is the guy that my BEST FRIEND is dating!!!
I've never met him, never seen what he looks like, so it didn't hit me until he told me where he lived. I live right near him. They have been playing phone tag and have occasional dates since January, but he is very flighty. She wouldn't hear from him for a month, then get a call out of the blue. He even asked her to come over the night before he and I were talking on messenger! So I called her and told her what was happening. She didn't care because she still dates others, but it was a very weird situation. I never told him that I was friends with her. We are thinking of taking a picture this weekend and then next week talking to him and saying "Hey I have a new picture, want to see?" and see what his reaction is. She thinks it may get him out of her life for good because he just plays mind games with her and she's annoyed by it.
Just thought I'd share! This really is a small world!
Layx2

Why doesn't she just stop taking his calls if she wants him "out of her life for good"?
I don't see why the game-playing is necesary or appropriate. They're not exclusive so he's not doing anything wrong.
Sheri
Exactly what I was going to say Sheri.
layx - this is not "the guy your friend is dating" this is a guy that she has been on a few dates with and is not exclusive. Both are free to date others and so why go the immaturity route with the picture? You're not interested in dating him and it sounds like neither is she. You can just stop talking to him and good grief - she is an adult, if she "wants him out of her life for good" why doesn't she do as Sheri suggested and stop taking her calls or the next time he does, just say "I don't think we should see each other anymore. Bye." Why does she have to act like she is in junior high and pull the silly antics?
But the world of OLD is a small one - you can run into people you know, that your friends know or even that your friends are dating. If they were exclusive, I would say act. But they are not. Why make a big deal of it - you are the ones that wind up looking silly and immature.
Good lord people, chill out! I can't answer for my friend, only she can, and there is a LOT more to this story. I even said in my message if you read it clearly that she doesn't care that he's doing this, she goes on other dates herself! She knows they aren't exclusive, she've never looked at it that way. She DOES date him though, along with some other guys. I'm not sure why she keeps talking to him if ultimately she wants him to stop calling, I can't answer that, I'm not her!
The picture thing is just something funny we were throwing around. What are the odds of this happening, ya know? I only talked to him for a couple minutes when I found out who he was, then I signed off. I do NOT lead people on. Geesh, next time I'll remember not to post here again. No wonder so many people left, you get attacked so easily!
Layx2
You're taking this out of hand. All I can do is go by what you say in your post. You say "she wants him out of her life for good" - well, she has the power to do so by telling him. If you read my post, I also say that they are not exclusive so they both have every right to do what they want. I never said that she seemed to care - I'm saying YOU shouldn't care and that the picture idea is immature.
Anyone that has left here left by choice and it was not because of what people said but becuase of what they were prohibited or slammed for saying. I am not attacking you I am telling you how I feel in a matter of fact way. If you don't like it or my style, you can ignore me and my posts. Many people have found my advice to be very helpful. I am sorry if you felt attacked, it was not my intention but rather to try to understand why YOU care this guy is talking to other women and why you would pull a silly stunt like the picture!
Okay, let's try this again. I don't care that he's dating other women, you are right, they aren't exclusive, they are free to date whomever they want. It was just a WEIRD situation that he contacted me, her best friend, through a dating site. That's all this post was about, plain and simple, a weird coincidence and situation. I never once said "He shouldn't be talking to other women..."
We were jokingly throwing around the idea of sending him a picture of both her and I. He asked if I had any additional pictures and I don't. It was just something funny, we probably won't do it. I don't know why she can't say "stop calling me" if she doesn't want to talk to him, I don't understand her myself, but I can't answer for her. He's been playing games with her for the last couple of months, so maybe she thought this was like a "right back at ya buddy."
Like I said, this was just a funny situation that I thought the board would enjoying reading. Sorry to cause drama. Next time, my advice for advice giving would be something like this:
"wow that must have been a strange situation! But my suggestion would be not to send the picture, you are just stooping to his level." Calling someone immature is not needed.
Layx2
OK, this will be my last post on the subject because there is no point in arguing over it. We are obviously having a misunderstanding and that is fine.
When you mentioned the picture thing, you said (direct quote from your post):
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You don't say here that you are joking about it, you say you are thinking about it. I'm sorry I can't read the inflection but when someone says they are "thinking of...", I don't automatically read into it that they are jokingly thinking about it but that they really are thinking about it.
Also, I did not call you or her immature, I called the actions/idea immature (see the quotes below) and to me, that means two COMPLETELY different things. I am a mature person but I do immature things too. We all do, especially when getting even is involved.
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Again, I am sorry if you were offended but your suggestion of advice is not my style – I am more direct and call it like I see it.
I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to argue, I'm just trying to clarify my original post, because obviously it didn't come out like I intended, I was in a rush to post it. I just thought it was a funny weird story to share with the board, since I have yet to see a story on here like it. No harm was intended.
Layx2