Wrong guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2002
Wrong guy
2
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 1:12am
Hi all, I haven't been to this board in so long and the other boards also that I had to hunt back months for a message from me to remember my screen name. This is long and I need some advice. I just returned home from a 6 week vacation and the minute I got on a guy instant messaged me (Dan). I guess we had talked before as a few things did ring a bell. He works on a military base as a civilian. I use to work there also and planning to go back. We don't know each other, he read my profile and just IM'd me months ago. Out of the blue during our IMing session I get the bright idea to ask him if he knew this guy. (the guy I asked about has a name that isn't that common but others do have it--I'll call him Jose). Lo and behold he works in the same building with Jose!!! I lied and said, oh no I meant to cover my tracks. Then I told him "but I do know your friend really well too". Dan's telling me what a nice guy Jose is. Background on Jose and me.....He use to come into my work and I really liked him but he was married so no flirty but friendly on my part. He was very nice, always made me laugh. I quit and hadn't seen him for a year but ran into him 2 months ago. He said "hey, you quit on me". We talked for a few because 2 people were eating with him and I didn't want to bother him. I asked about his daughter and wife and he told me that his wife divorced him a year earlier. Oops with a smile sort of. I left after that because I didn't know what to say with people there. I told my friend who still works where I use to, to tell him when she sees Jose that I'd like to go to a comedy club or something and give him my number. I never knew if she did or not. 2 weeks later I'm walking across the street at the base and someone in a new truck lets me go across the crosswalk. I start heading towards the door and hear a honk. Jose is in that truck (he bought a new one)so I go over to talk to him in the street. I asked him if my friend had talked to him, he says yes, he's smiling and grabs a notebook and pen. I was so nervous I don't know if he asked for my number or if I just assumed but I wrote it down. Told him I had to go to my appointment and he said he had to get out of the road before he got a ticket. What kind of ticks me off here is that he knew I wanted to go out since he'd talked to my friend but yet honks and has me come over to talk LOL (I think it's more embarassment to be truthful)

Well, no phone call boo hoo..... I don't know if I'm embarassed or humiliated. Jose is not someone I would normally be interested in. He's kinda short, stumpy, balding and not too good looking. Anyway, here I am talking to Dan and he works with him LOL

Dan IM's me the next day and tells me he talked to Jose at the snackbar and he told him to tell me hello . Dan said he asked Jose about me and told him he was talking to me. Dan has never seen me or met me. I still really like this Jose and not the one I'm IMing with. I think I'm being terrible talking to Dan kinda hoping that Jose will have second thoughts and want to give me a call. I know Dan will IM me tonight and I want to throw in that I had liked Jose but he never called. (Dan mentions Jose every once in awhile so it's not odd to bring him up in conversation). I realize that obviously Jose wasn't interested or he would have called but darn I wish I could be strong and say his loss. Dan told me that Jose is retiring in a few months so I'll probably never see him again anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: chayse36
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 5:18pm
Maybe it is me, but what is your question? Ok, I am getting you are talking to someone you are not into. Your keeping in touch in hopes of Jose maybe thinking of you and calling. But, it has been way to long he is not interested. Sometimes (I find it hard myself) you have remember some people are meant to be just that. Jose may have been good for a laugh and you found an attraction but he didn't. Face it move on, if Dan is not for you be honest now. Face things with Jose and keep on your journey finding who is right for you.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
In reply to: chayse36
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 9:28am
Well, thats alot to take in. Well, lets just say it is safer to pursue things with Jose simply because it is in person, where as Dan is not, yet. I think when dating it is okay to talk to , see, or otherwise, as many men as you would like. I dont think you owe anyone any sort of explaination. I would say you are friends with both men and meeting in person is best with Dan, but until then...Jose is more of a potential date. I would say, you should find out your own info on Jose and not ask Dan anymore. He may be trying to interfere with your interest in him. You never know really. Just go with what you know here. Ask Jose out and see where it goes. What can it hurt? If things dont work out, then meet up with Dan. I would say in person is best to really know where you wanna go with these two men. Never ask one man about another, they usually arent going to tell you what you need to know. Find it all out on your own. Goodluck and I hope it works out for you.


Keep us posted.

Gail