yesterday's date was a disaster..
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 01-21-2007 - 11:06am |
Hello everyone,
I'm a new poster to this board and I hope someone here can help me out with my situation. Last month I had a man write me first on a dating site, we corresponded for a couple of weeks and we had our first date last weekend. I thought it went well, we had a great time together, we shared good conversation and he was very eager to see me again (he asked for a second date before the first date ended and he even wanted to set up a day and activity for the next time we met). We did have 1 short phone call several days after and he said he'd call on Friday night to set up a time for our date. Now this is where the problem began... he did call on Friday as promised but he mentioned that he was feeling under the weather and he wasn't sure if we should go out the next day. I told him I would be a little disappointed but if he still felt sick the next morning, then he should stay home. He called yesterday morning and said he felt well enough to come up here. Our second date turned out to be completely different from our first one, he was much more quiet and we didn't talk very much. We spent a couple of hours looking around in a museum and when we left, he was not talking at all. I mentioned to him that I noticed how quiet he was, and he said he wasn't aware of it and that he always wasn't like that. I asked him if he wanted to go get something to eat and he said he didn't have any money but if I wanted to it was okay (this was completely different from the previous date where he paid for dinner, pool games and drinks for us). This comment along with his behavior during the entire date, led me to believe that he wasn't liking me as much as he did and my mood just plummeted :(.
We walked straight to the T (subway) stop and went over to the walkways leading to the train platforms. He was asking me which walkway went up to my train but I just walked right by him without saying goodbye because I was upset and felt like crying. I was halfway to the train platform when I got a hold of myself and decided to go back for him. I turned around and he was still standing there, wondering what the hell I was doing. I walked back to him, apologized and told him that I didn't think he enjoyed himself today. He said he did, then gave me a hug and said he'd call later.
On the way back home, I realized that I made a hasty, self-centered assumption and realized that maybe he was so quiet and withdrawn because he was sick. He was sniffling and mentioned that he took some cold medicine that morning, and I noticed as we were going ito the subway station that his face was really flushed like he had a fever and I noticed that his eyes were red too, so I'm suspecting that he was feeling much worse than he had let on. I called him later that night and got his voice mail (so I don't know if he went straight to bed sick or was avoiding my call :(), I left him a message asking how he was doing and apologizing for the way I acted. I also emailed him last night with the same message (minus the apology).
I feel like I blew it with this guy because I was acting like a brat, I really like him a lot and would like a second chance with him. Can this be salvaged at all?

Pages
Awww, sorry about all that! Well, it seems like you did the best you could to salvage the situation. Yes, you may have been hasty, but then again, if he felt that ill, he should have stayed home. & sick or
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like someones people are so quick to judge chemistry. Call me old fashioned, but I believe chemistry can develop over time. When Harry met Sally is a good example of such!
Props to you for moving on with grace and style. :)
Pink
I know what you mean... but I still believe that sometimes people can be too quick to judge/expect chemistry. In today's world, we expect everything to be so "immediate". Sometimes the best things take time. :)
Pink
Amen sister!!!!
I can name several times when I've gone out on dates..and the guy will either say it right away, wont say anything at all, or after date number 2..throws out the "chemistry" line.
All you can do is let it go, their loss, and NEXT!!!
Radelle
Pages