yet another question
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| Tue, 04-24-2007 - 10:00am |
Well to make a long story short he never called last night (plan was to call at 10). I woke up at like 11:30 and got some water and I had this IM from him:
"Court, I'm sorry, I am literally waking up...and late for work...I feel ill...once again I function on like 2 hours sleep...listen, please do not take any of this as a sign that I am not greatly looking to forward our acquaintance as I do...my last exam is Wednesday, and after that i will call you...of course that is if you even want me to anymore"
pretty much at this point I am ready to respond with I'll take a pass on that, but best of luck to you and I hope you find what you are looking for. I get the feeling he just doesn't want to be the 'bad guy'. If he wanted to call he could've called earlier, he was online around 9. I guess my only problem is that he says he does want to continue corresponding and I am not really sure where I stand on this. As of right now I have blocked him from my IM and do not plan to innitiate contact. He has my email if he wants to get ahold of me. I just don't want to be overthinking things, but yet I still hope for the best. Any advice is appreciated.
thanks
courtney

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I think you're overthinking things.
My take on this is a little less rosy than vexer's; however, I think that he could be genuinely busy. It's hard to make someone you don't really know a very high priority, especially when you do have a lot going on. So, in that vein, I think vexer is correct.
At the same time, I know I hate it when someone can't keep their promises. So, I think what you're doing is what I would do; don't initiate contact, but don't completely prevent him from contacting you either. I think you could unblock him online, assuming you will be able to stop yourself from contacting him. That way, if he has a few minutes and wants to talk to you (and assuming you're available, of course), he can.
Either way, you don't really have anything to lose by seeing what happens after his exams are finished. Good luck.
"Court, I'm sorry, I am literally waking up...and late for work...I feel ill...once again I function on like 2 hours sleep...listen, please do not take any of this as a sign that I am not greatly looking to forward our acquaintance as I do...my last exam is Wednesday, and after that i will call you...of course that is if you even want me to anymore"
Tell him, "ok, you can call me after the exam and set up something". Give him the benefit of the doubt this time and see if he calls you for the meeting. But, if there are any more excuses, I'd take that as a lack of interest on his part.
I have to agree with Vex on this one. When I was studying for my comps in grad school it was everything I could do to remember to eat. I still get that way with my work sometimes-- when I am in "trial mode", every single thing but the basics (potty, food and sleep) falls on the back burner.
Is there a reason you've blocked the guy from your IM? Is he annoying you, or are you being a little coy? I am the first to say that there are times when I'd much prefer to shoot someone a quick IM or an email rather than initiate a phone call, *especially* when I'm super busy. He may not have called as promised, *but* he did make an effort to contact you... and considering how frantic his schedule is for now, I'd consider that a sign of interest (key word is "interest"!).
I'd respond to the guy. Let him know you understand he's busy, and suggest that he call you when things calm down. You don't have to give a lengthy response... just a one liner would suffice. It clearly puts the ball in his court as to future contact, but it also allows you to assert yourself a tad. In the meantime, don't put all of your eggs in one basket! There are a lot of fish in the sea (or so I'm told, haha)!!
I understand people get busy, and fall asleep or whatever. He is the one who asked to call, and said he was going to call. This is the problem with it. I blocked him just b/c I didn't want him seeing I was online and also I wanted to think about stuff for a bit before I talked to him. I did send him an IM a few moments ago and I said, hey..I got ur im, no worries, I am sure we can talk another time. He apologized again and said I will see that he has much better manners after tomorrow. and I said I understand and I hope so. I ended it not long after b/c I feel like he needs to do a little bit of work now and I don't want to seem over zealous or like I am a girl who doesn't respect myself! But I really appreciate your advice and thoughts. I am trying to not dwell on it, and I hope he proves me wrong, because I really would love to get to know more about him!
thanks again
Courtney
Thanks. I am a student as well, and plan on becoming a doctor of chiropractic, so it's not that I mind that he is busy. And I thought he was working on his PhD...but he is working towards it. He's completing his 3rd yr of undergradute studies. Other things come into play as well, the distance...he's 4 hrs away. So at this point a lot of things are starting to point to the 'probably not gonna work direction'. I really just wanted to get to know more about him and possibly spend time with him and see where things could go, but I am not so sure it's going to go much further. Not being negative, just realistic.
Thanks for your advice.
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