You are what you believe or think!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
You are what you believe or think!!!!
12
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:25pm

Hello all I am new to this board and I thought what better place to share my OLD story. About 7 months ago I started corresponding with this man on Match. We exchanged a few short emails but nothing more than that. Me being the person that I am got frustrated with Match and was about to throw in the towel with OLD for good when my girlfriend suggested I try Yahoo. So I did and there he was again, oh did I say his profile on Match disappeared!!) So I sent him a hello email and did not hear back from him so I thought well, serial dater, I will just have this service for a month and go on about my business not really giving OLD much thought.

I tried it all OLD going out etc and I was reaching my point where I felt I should take a break from the entire routine, no time for game players. Guess who sends me an IM, yep you guessed it it was him the guy from Match. We started exchanging emails or Im's etc and he would always invite me out to see his band play but I did not go as I had other things going on at those times. So finally in September we meet for coffee and we hit it off... Went out a few Friday's went to see his band play and can we just say the rest is history.

It has been a very beautiful experience we laugh together, play together he is the man I always wanted in my life. I must admit I was a little gun shy when he told me he loved, as I thought it was too soon and he was just blowing smoke up my aspirin.. But his words and actions have always matched he does really love me and I love him. We plan to get married sometime this year and most importantly my child gets along with him or should I say adores him.

Like my girlfriend always says you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince and I did.

For all of you who are losing hope, faith and courage. DON'T it will happen when you least expect it!!! POSITIVE THOUGHTS ONLY YOUR WHAT YOU EMULATE!!!!! Fake it until it becomes a part of you.

Edited 3/9/2005 4:29 pm ET ET by sparkle_number1

Edited 3/9/2005 4:30 pm ET ET by sparkle_number1




Edited 3/9/2005 4:31 pm ET ET by sparkle_number1

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:33pm

Thanks for sharing your success story; we need MORE of those on this board as people tend to get down about OLD.

Cheers,
SP

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:39pm

That's a really nice story. I'm glad everything is working out so well for you and I wish you much luck in your future. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:46pm

I am more than happy to share and thank you. When I discovered this message board, I read some of the posts it bothered me that so many were willing to give up. I just thought that my story would help others see that it does work.

I will try to keep you all up to date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:48pm

Thank you for your kind words, as I stated in my previous post, I just wanted to let other know that it can happen and not to lose hope, faith or courage.

I will try to keep you all up to date

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:52pm

I have two friends married from OLD and yes a lot of people here get frustrated and I’ve gone thru my share as well although I’m in a relationship now from someone I met off match. I like the positive posts; keep um coming!

SP

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 5:08pm

LOL small peanut, I will try to keep them coming but I will tell you what I notice different in this relationship than in previous ones. Not only does it feel right but we make an effort to be with one another, point blank. If a man is really into a woman and vice versa, they will make the time, no matter how limited that time maybe. It is the quality of time not the quantity and that is where I believe most people make their mistakes. They judge where they are in that person's life based on time spent JMHO.
There are times, when life, family, career etc., dictates our plans. Do you become whining and complain? No, you adjust. I look at it this way if two people are married or living together and the same events pop up and less time is being spent what would you think? Would you think he/she loves me less? No, if he/she worked late you would get up and spend sometime with them. Or spend time with them in the morning before you left for work, these are adjustments. I know from experience you can be with someone 24/7 and not truly be with them. Maximize the quality of your time.

Now don't get me wrong if he/she is constantly breaking dates, plans by all means ? Those actions, after the habit has gone on for sometime( max 1 month).

This is jmho and I have found that I would take the quality of time over quantity any day!!!!

As far as those of you who are not in an exclusive relationship, may I suggest you date no more than 3 at a time. Why? You will find that when you have another who piques your interest, it cause you to calm down and not put so much pressure on the other relationship. And by all means be honest and let the other know you are "DATING". This allows them to make the decision if they want to continue on with you or not. Just because you are "Dating" more than one person does not mean you are or have to sleep with them I am a firm beleiver that once intimacy becomes involved too soon, things get messed up.

Again JMHO

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 5:22pm

Hey, you’re preaching to the choir. I agree! My guy “M” always makes the time. The only time either of us has cancelled plans is if we were sick, or I was sick and he ended up nursing me back to health and I still saw him. I never used to be the gal that liked to spend 5 days a week with someone, I’m such a creature of habit with my “routine”..I feel like that guy (although I’m a gal) in “About a Boy” so many increments in a day, now those increments are thrown out the window and minus work, there is nothing I have to do like i used to think and it took the right guy to make me see the way, I think I was a bit selfish with my time before.

He even said if he’s gone on a trip and has had no sleep I would be his first stop off the airplane, that’s how into me he is which is a breath of fresh air and trust me, I don’t even expect that, that is how he’s built.

Also in my relationship I feel “relaxed” best way to describe it. I think when your gut goes off or your analyzing something isn’t quite right so people need to pay attention to that. Also, stop making excuses for him being busy or this or that of why he can’t see you. Yes, there are the occasional things that come up, that’s life. My best friend once dated a surgeon, in the middle of surgery he had the nurse put her on speaker phone and he said hey baby, it’s so and so, I’m in the middle of a surgery, are we still on for the heats game tonight? Yeah, he made the time and he had a good excuse not to call, LOL.

Cheers,
SP

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 5:35pm
I agree!!!! And good luck to you!!!!! See OLD is not so bad
Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 7:12pm

Thank you so much for sharing! It's stories likes your's and peanut's that keeps bringing me back to OLD. I've met soooo many couples who have had success with it. In fact, I was at a wedding in November where the bride and groom met on jdate and there were 4 or 5 other couples there that had also met on jdate. Even my uncle married someone he met on jdate. So I know it works.

It just gets sooo frustrating sometimes. I completely agree with your comment on positive thoughts. You get back what you put out. If fact, that's part of the reason I've removed my profiles for a little while. I'm working my way through a funk right now, and recognized I was putting out some negative energy. So I'm taking a little break for a few weeks, get back to my cheerful old self, and then go back to OLD.

Thanks again for sharing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 7:54pm
This is such a refreshing post! I am so happy to hear you have found a great guy - and he has found you. I totally agree that we get what we put out there. Yes, it's fun sometimes to gripe and moan on this board, but sometimes we need to snap out of it and remember not to take it all so seriously. Dating should be fun. If it's not, our attitude needs some adjustment. Thanks for the great reminder and good luck with your man!

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