You guys, I need your help! WTF????
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| Sun, 10-16-2005 - 8:17am |
Here's the story: Last night I went out on a date with my current beau from Match. We've seen each other 7 or 8 times now. We've connected and clicked in ways that I never thought possible. We talk every day, and it's obvious that we have something very cool. We both have hinted to each other that this could very easily be something long term.
So last night we had a great date. We went out to a nice restaurant for dinner, and then to a haunted forest. We came back to my place, and hung out. We did end up having sex for the first time and he spent the night. We were up until 3:30am.
But here's the problem... this morning at about 6:45 he got up from bed. He woke me, but didn't know that he woke me. I laid in bed, thinking he was just going to the bathroom. But a few minutes later I heard my apartment door shut and realized he was getting in his car. I continued to lay in bed, puzzled, and then figured he was being a total sweetheart and going to get coffee or bagels or something. But, 45 minutes later, he's still not back. I got up, and realized there was a note on the counter. Here's what it said:
"Good morning. Thanks for a great time last yesterday. I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep (strange bed syndrome) and I didn't just want to lay in bed. I took off to head back home. I will call you later."
WTF? My reaction? I'm pissed. Now, I didn't verbalize it to him, but I had plans of another round of morning sex and maybe go out to breakfast. But it never occured to me to talk about what the next morning would be like -- I totally took it for granted that he'd just hang out with me. We both had other things planned for the afternoon, but I assumed that we'd at least spend the first few hours together. He didn't kiss me good bye or wake me in any way. I feel abandoned. I feel self conscious.
How would you feel, how would you react? My first instinct is to tell him that doing that is unacceptable and rude, and that it's pushed me away in the other direction. But then another part of me is wondering if maybe it's really not that big of a deal and should blow it off.
It sucks, because now I am having doubts about whether or not he really DID enjoy himself last night, and if he's having second thoughts about us. Is this his way of saying something without actually saying it? Help!
Tobi

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I think his note is telling you exactly how he feels. He couldn't sleep. And as you know a day can be ruined by lack of sleep.
It's easy saying this from the outside looking in, but it really is no big deal. He can't read your mind and it wasn't discussed what the morning would bring. I think it's nice he left you a note. Try not to freak out on him when he calls because he didn't do anything wrong IMO. Just a guy trying to get some sleep. That's all.
Tobi....I can't decide how I would take that situation. Part of me would feel exactly like you feel, but the other part of me thinks that the note was nice and if he was honest with what he said, that would be ok....
I'll be anxious to hear what happens next. Try not to think into it too much. Try, at this point, to leave it at face value.
Well everything was going so well something had to come up where you two weren't on the same page.
At this point I wouldn't read much into it. Guys tend to be "what you see is what you get" unless you have more evidence to think otherwise. So, if he left a note, I'd believe it & see if he does call you back. Right now there's no reason to freak out.
Several years ago, when I had sex with a guy I had been seeing for the first time, & it was at his place, I stayed the night but got ZERO sleep for the same reason. Even though I had a fun time & wanted to see him again, I wish I hadn't stayed the night. So, I can relate to his POV. However, being a woman, I can also understand why you're upset & confused. At this point it would be premature to read anything into this.
Edited 10/16/2005 10:53 am ET by travkitty
I totally know how you feel. But the first morning can be awkward -- stay? go? He chose to go, and it's no reflection on the evening.
The next time you get together and he stays the night, ask him to stay the morning as well. He will appreciate knowing what you want.
This was just a miscommunication, that's all. Go kick a wall, stomp around and rant and rave. Then chill and handle the situation differently next time.
Despite this snag, I'm so happy to hear that things are going well with you two!
amjay
ROTFL!
>Maybe he had to go to the *bathroom*
>and didn't want to at her house.
Yes... He didn't want to use the bathroom so he put "it" all in a note!
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