young wants old and vice versa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2006
young wants old and vice versa
10
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 11:33am


So far I have been back on match for about 3 weeks. I see alot of men my age that want younger women or they are looking for a women my age with a body of a 21 year old. By the way, I am soon to be 46. I am not slender or athletic and toned , just average I would say. Jeez, I have had 2 c sections and a hysterectomy for crying out loud. But anyways what I am getting is these young guys like 25 to 28 years old emailing me like crazy and I keep telling them I could be there mother. So why is it that guys my age can have beer guts, a few extra pounds, oh yeah, quite a few extra pounds and yet they want a barbie and these young guys want an older woman.

I know I've only been on there a short while, but hopefully things will start looking up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 11:46am

I'm 45 and I've discovered that also. The men pool in my area is sparse enough. But the nice looking eligible men pass you over unless you are athletic and toned. I'm thin, but I've had 3 kids and it shows. But yet I'm constantly getting responses from 19-30 y/o men who are only looking for one thing. Its tough being middle aged and single.

Jeanie

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 2:46pm

I am a 52 yr old guy who has worked very hard to be in shape and eat healthy (only fish, mostly soy/no dairy). I would love to find a life partner who is in my age bracket who is somewhat physically fit and is conscious about her diet/health as well. I also realize that it is more challenging for those women who are mothers whose roles are usually be the full time worker in the world, housekeeper AND be the child caregiver. I am still holding out to find someone who is slim/slender/athletic build. Statisically 60% of the people in America are overweight, 30% are obese so I am looking against the odds. I see this in young people as well as older people, it is across all age ranges.

My 49 yr old woman friend who is partial to older men (her love-of-her-life whom she found on match.com is 55) told me that she has reconciled that the men in this age bracket don't take care of themselves, usually have a gut and so she has lowered her standards in terms of that physical aspect.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 3:01pm

I can answer you question. I just had this discussion at a party recently with some late 20 somethings. Apparently, they like to date older woman. Because we (I'm 34 by the way) have a job, are more secure in ourselves and aren't into playing games and what they can do for us. We don't play and don't want games. Most of us have jobs, a house and our own life and are just looking for someone to share it with us and maybe have a serious commitment with, but most of us are not looking to get married right off the bat and have a family. They also told me that they have had problems with girls their own age cheating on them and leaving whenever they saw someone who might have more material things then the current boyfriend.

So since then I have decided why not date younger. Besides it kills my 42 year old ex husband to see me with someone almost half his age;)

Now on the older side, I don't even reply to the men in their mid 50s who email me as they are the same age as my dad and that's not cool just creepy to me.

I hope that helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 4:27pm

The guy I met yesterday was 48 and was horribly out of shape and overweight. My last guy I dated (42) was heavier as well, but he looked good in his clothes and was not a turn-off to me physically. The guy yesterday thought I looked attractive--maybe because I'm not really overweight. I would like to lose 10-15 pounds but that is what a lot of people would want. I describe myself as "average", not thin or fit but not obese either.

It amazes me how many really overweight men think average or thin women should be attracted to them. And maybe there are some who are--I was attracted to my last guy, but I certainly was turned off by the one I met yesterday. So, even the weight and age thing can be subjective. It depends on the person and how they carry themselves and how they act more than anything else.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 7:44pm
I read somewhere that men choose their mates based on youth and looks (breeding purposes). Women choose men based on their power, money, and status.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 12:14am
Demi and Ashton are a livin example so why not try it?
My x BF of 3 yrs and I went once on a resort vacation and saw the headlines about Demi and Ashton and we laughed at them.
Now they are still together (pregnant??) and my BF and I (4 yrs age difference) are apart!
so it does not hurt to look for a soulmate in a younger guy as long as you dont have to support him financially
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 2:13am
Don't discount younger men. I met my b/f online 4months ago and we are having a great time together. I'm 47 and he is 34. I never would have imagined myself dating a younger man but now I couldn't be happier. He's in no rush to get married and I'm in no rush to get married. He doesn't want to have children and I have 3 (and a granddaughter) and certainly don't want any more. He is a professional, independent, owns his own home and doesn't have the baggage of men my age. I highly recommend giving it a try!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 2:17am
I wanted to give a follow up to the reply I just posted. Anyone want to see how well it works go to the May December Relationship boards here and read - lots of happy couples with age differences that could be considered significant - as in my case. Be happy - does age really matter as long as two people are compatible and love each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 11:52am
Ah, to have your situation! I did Match on and off for a year and a half before throwing in the towel. I met many men, but mostly ones around my age or older. That said, I am 43, in great shape, and prefer younger men! My past relationships show my preference and I don't have anything against men my age or older *except* that I have found they don't have my energy level and most are NOT "athletic and toned" as 98% state on their profiles. Yes, it is important to me that my guy be in shape and take care of himself. Men want that, and I do, too! It's all about lifestyle choices and I want someone like me - active, healthy, energetic. Back to the point - had I been inundated by emails from younger men (which I wanted) I might have had more faith in OLD. That's not to say I didn't meet some men in their 30's, but it never ended up being a match. And the majority of mail I received was from men 47-60 (which didn't work for me, ultimately, although I met many of the men, trying to see if I could be with someone that much older than myself). At the end of the day, I think it boils down to preferences...I can say that I have met more men who fit my age range preference in the outside, real world. It just seems easier for me, and the man. Funny how it works that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:38pm

God Bless ya! I too think "Oh boy, please let ANY man who sees me naked, have already seen a body that birthed a child or 2"! lol


If this makes you feel any better, I am a D cup. I have lost almost 50# in a year, but NONE in my boobs! My 6 yr old said to me recently, when i was naked

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