Younger Guys

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Younger Guys
10
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 5:00pm

What is your opinon on dating younger men? For it, against it, doesnt matter? I dont seem to have a lot of interest in older guys-very seldom. I find that younger guys are more fun, carefree, have less worries. However they often arent looking for anything serious that will lead to marriage the way i guess I am at this point in life.

I ask because i met a 22 year old last night....i'm 28. We talked a lot and he asked for my number when he was leaving. No clue if he'll call...but i can say that i felt more chemistry, attaction towards him than i felt on any of these online dates combined. If he did happen to call...i wonder if i should even go out with him. The last guy i dated was 5 years younger than me, things didnt work out...but i dont think his age had a lot to do with it. I know that my family and friends thought it was weird that i dated someone 5 years younger...i am troubled by the fact that i like younger guys in a way because like i said, they are normally not looking for the same type of relationship i am...and most guys seem to marry girls younger than them anyways.

Thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: corbeach
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 5:44pm

I personally don't have a problem with it and have almost always dated guys 6 months to 2 years younger than me.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
In reply to: corbeach
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 8:24pm
I agree, younger guys do seem like they have less worries and are more fun, adventurous and carefree. On the other hand, they are not established in their careers and are inexperienced in so many subjects. The most awesome and adventurous young guy can turn into a bum with no work ethic. My preference is to date men who are 2-5 years older than I am. That way I know who they have turned into and not wonder what they'll be like when they grow up. I mean that in the best way possible. Also, I don't want to feel like I am coaching or mothering a guy.
Recently I was contacted by 2 young guys. One guy was 22 and the other one was 24. I was so tempted to go out with them just to have fun. I did turn them down; I told them that I wouldn't feel right doing that. I didn't tell them this part, but surely I am more experienced and wiser than they are regarding a million things like handling money, career, dealing with people, etc. (sidenote-how is it that men don't feel somewhat guilty being 40 and dating a 20 year old. lol.)
Young guys probably aren't looking for a serious relationship and even if they say they are, they probably won't come to the table with the readiness to make it work long term. I really don't think men are ready to be in a good relationship until at least 30 and a couple failed relationships. So, if you are just looking for fun, I'd say yeah! Go out and don't expect anything to come of it. If you have time to spare then go for it. They'd make fun "activity partners" and can turn into good friends perhaps :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
In reply to: corbeach
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 8:01am

I think it depends on the age difference. Each situation has it's own unique issues but in your situation I think that the age difference would depend on the maturity of both parties. Is he mature to your age or vice versa? My brother who at the time was 41 married a 20 year old "girl" a couple of years back. My brother is a bit immature and he rationalized it by saying that she was mature and he was immature so they met in the middle. Let me tell you he was dead on WRONG!! She left him on Christmas Day 2003 and broke his heart and continues to do so. She recently had a baby by another man and they stay in touch (no divorce yet).

In my life I had the opportunity (and still do actually) to explore a relationship with a 26 year old man M I work with. (He is actually the one who set me and W up). In my situation since I am 47 years old I decided that M had so much of the life experiences that I have already experienced which includes children (I never had children but I know that he would make a great Dad). I have been told numerous by many people that I shouldn't have made that decision for him but I know M well enough to say that he would tell me it didn't matter because I know he cares about me. We still flirt with each like crazy and it isn't any secret between us that there are sparks a flying. He thinks, however; that there is something between W and I which we all know isn't true. M and I never discuss W so he would have only his own assumptions or whatever W might have said to him. (He was W's boss and was probably the one who wrote him up for his work issues and luckily W changed managers and M will NOT be the person to terminate W if the need arises.)

So my answer to your question is it depends on the parties involved. I would give the guy a try and see how you mesh together before you "NEXT" him.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
In reply to: corbeach
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 10:45am

I've contemplated about this myself recently.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
In reply to: corbeach
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 10:54am

I have always been drawn to younger guys. I once had a thing for a guy nearly 11 years my junior. That didn't last long and looking back, it was certainly due to his immaturity. On the average though, a few years either way should not make much difference. However, I am finding more and more men in their 40's (or close to my age) are simply not very mature. My last guy was 41 and I was 45. I thought the age difference was minimal, and I thought he was mature. He made some very immature and selfish decisions which only reinforces his maturity level. I think there is no magic age for maturity to happen. My thought process is that by the time a guy is 40 something, he SHOULD have his act together. He should be past a lot of game playing, he should be A LOT more settled than what I've continually found via OLD.

To my amazement, I have found myself interested in a guy who is 52 but also seems to have maturity issues. I have a good friend who told me that "men never grow up, they just grow old". I'm believing that statement more and more with each passing month.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: corbeach
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 3:37pm
I'm 31 and I hesistate big time with dating anyone who is younger than 28 but I can't say that I would completely rule out the possibility. If someone was 25 or younger I would for sure say no because there is a very high chance that they are either way too emotionally immature to be in a serious relationship or financially irresponsible, wanting to have fun and not wanting to settle down. This is just me though and there are always those few exceptions to the rule. I'm just done with guys that have other things to do or accomplish before settling down because I've already done my other things and I'm ready, so for me it's about the timing thing and knowing that I would be risking getting involved yet again with someone who is not ready to make a commitment. They can SAY that they are but actually SHOWING that they have the emotional capability and maturity to work through relationship difficulties is what counts. So this might be a stereotype but I honestly don't think early 20's guys and to a certain extent mid-20s guys are even ready or willing to settle down. I have actually been trying to shoot for the 31-40 range for dating. I'm seeing someone that is almost 37 so that is a good age for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 7:33am
Hi,
I am dating and having been for a year and a half a guy who is 28, I am 41. I don't want marriage or kids and he is happy to not have to deal with having that as an expectation. It just fits for now. We have a good thing, that best relationship I have ever had and I was married to a wealthy lawyer for 16 years before this so you can imagine my values have changed. :)
Good luck and keep an open mind! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:04am

Well - it certainly depends on the maturity level of the guy. I mean, there are some fairly mature 25 yr olds out there, & totally IMMATURE 35 yr olds.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 10:11am

Age is just a number.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 10:20am

well for the record (: here is what happened with the 22 year old.

It took him about 2 weeks to call me. His excuse was that he was at school, busy, i had made several comments about him being young so he didnt think i really wanted to hang out. He came home for thanksgiving break and decided to call. He wanted to hang out, but i had plans. I invited him out with my friends and I. He fit in quite well. He seemed older than 22, was really outgoing, my friends liked him. Um he is hot...I hadnt had any physical affection in a while so he came home with me that night. He is SO hot. lol. We did not have sex, I admit i wanted to, but thought better of it...he was an amazing kisser, just felt so good, awesome body. Next day he said he wanted to hang out again and he would call me that week.

so yeah i havent heard from him. He told me that he'd be home last weekend to hang out with his sister and that maybe he and I could hang out. He was even saying things like i could go visit him at school (which i wouldnt do) he'd be home for 2 weeks over xmas, etc. But I never heard from him....I guess I would have liked to have heard from him....but he is 22....i am 28...this was going to go nowhere. I think he's rude though for doing what he did...and if he did happen to call when he's home for xmas...i will not be responding.