Your experitse is needed for my friend
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 08-16-2005 - 3:05pm |
Ok Ladies, pull up a chair and put on a pot of Burbon. This is for my guy friend. I think he should try online dating again. But I bet my newbie advice is nothing compared to what you guys can offer, so Northwest, amjay,sparkles, jodi, etc...Let's help a man out!!!
He tried Match a while ago. First off about him, he rocks!! He is my best friend and the nicest gentleman ever. The thing is that he really treats girls too well. They take advantage and string him along. He is a hottie, with a lot of personality. This guy can always crack you up. So back to the online stuff. He tried it, and went on two meets. He said that the picture was not them at all. And for others he couldn't get past the emailing. And when it did, not past the phone calls. I told him that it takes patience and a lot of getting used to. But that mainly it was for fun. I want him to find a great girl, so I am looking to one of the greatest bunches I know. As a woman OLDing what advice would you give to a man? Any helpful suggestions or words of encouragement. I told him I was posting this and he will check the thread. So he will se it directly. No please girls, lets get this awesome fish swimming in the untamed sometimes scary waters of OLD!!! Thanks as always

Pages
Is he looking for a possible LTR? Then IMO he needs to avoid any women who have seductive pics (such as the one in the bikini with her boobs hanging out that one woman had on Hooking Up last week). He should be looking for a general aura of someone who has her act together, and a sensible but flattering set of pics is one indicator. Also several pics rather than one.
Also avoid any women who seem to have a lot of drama going on in their lives, or who are looking for someone to "save" them.
It takes a lot of trial and error, but hopefully he will eventually learn what works and what doesn't. And there's a little bit of luck involved as well ;-).
Sheri
Sheri offered some great advice as always. I would also add, tell him to stay away from girls that want to IM all the time, I realize that it's a good way to communicate but it tends to lead to too much time spent on the computer and not getting to the point, which is actually meeting someone. I would also suggest not getting on the E-train (too many emails) before offering his phone number or asking if he can call them. After moving to the phone and there is a mutual desire to meet he should suggest it ASAP so as not to build false expectations.
And by all means tell him that you have to have a thick skin for OLD, but that doesn't mean he can't still be a good guy. ;-)
Good luck to him!
Libra
I am told by my sister that I am too nice and it has worked against me also at times. This is from my younger sister (33) who is a total B@%#@ to her guys and they love her!
I wouldn't want to be like her, but am working at being more assertive in what I require and want in a relationship and to not let guys walk all over me. I have learned not to change plans with my girlfriends when a man wants to go out and to live my life as I want it.
Your friend sounds like a really nice guy. The only thing he can do is get out there and try online dating.
* He will do much better(get more replies and interest) if he posts pictures.
* Ask the ladies how recent their pics are (many people post old pics).
* Don't chat too long before having a face to face meeting as expectations can rise and
disappointment can be hurtful if there is no attraction or chemistry there
* Realize there are people online just looking for sex (usually have sexual references
in their profiles)
* Don't believe everything people write in a profile, many depict themselves as they
would like to be not as they really are
* Avoid emailing forever before meeting as there are people who never intend to meet
anyone ( a few are fine)
* State in his profile what he wants in a relationship - whether looking for casual
dating, friendship, or the possibility of a LTR (long term relationship)
* Try to have at least one phone conversation before meeting face to face as you can
learn about a person from the phone conversation and may want to avoid meeting at all
and try to use a cell instead of a home phone so they can't get info on you as easily
* I try to meet within a two week time from the start of interest and not let it drag out
forever until we meet (of course this can be longer with some circumstances). He
should suggest specific days to meet to get her commited to meeting and if she keeps
avoiding the issue then let her go and say next! After all most *are* doing OLD to meet
people for possible relationships, not just to chat and IM forever!
* I keep first meets short so if there is no interest I don't have to try to talk so much
when I know we aren't clicking. I like to meet at coffee houses, nice bars, for
lunch, and sometimes for dinner (but usually avoid doing dinner first meets).
* If a first meet doesn't work out don't let it get to you personally. We all have
personal preferences such as height, body style, etc. and just because
we don't appeal to this person's preferences (or they to ours), does not mean we are
undesirable people. Physical traits can not usually be changed.
Well those are some things I've learned. If you friend decides to do online dating, I wish him much luck. Nice guys are hard to find. I wish he lived in MI! ;)
Sunshine
You can meet a psycho in a bar or at the grocery store as easily as you can meet one online. It's important to be safe when meeting someone new regardless of how you met them.
Edited 8/16/2005 6:45 pm ET ET by firstamendment
Back to the original post --
Lolly, would your friend be willing to post his profile info? That way he could get some feedback from the board chicks. Otherwise, I can't really say why he's having back luck.
Pages