In your opinion

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
In your opinion
19
Sun, 12-09-2012 - 5:44pm

I'm thinking of giving it another shot, but before I plunk down money on a site that may not have what they say they do, I want to do some research from those who are doing the OLD thingy.

for a 53 yr old woman, in your opinion, which would be dating site I should try and why do you suggest it?

thanks.

Pages

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 12-09-2012 - 7:41pm

I'm currently on Match.com. I have also been on Plenty of Fish, and I did a 30 day trail on eHarmony several years ago. I HATED eHarm. Back then you couldn't specify an age range, and they kept sending me much older men (I'm 58 BTW). POF, which is free, was a waste of time. The men were very undesirable. However, I have heard that it really depends on where you live: some people have had great luck with POF.

I've done match on and off. I've been on again since September. I had taken a year off, haveing been on for four years. I find the calbre of men is higher on match. I still get some weirdos contacting me, but I've had nice guys contact me, too. I think it has a lot to do wtih luck: it depends who else is on the site and if they happen to see your photo (p.s. photos are very important). 

I know nothing about the various niche sites like JDate. And I think "Our Time" is a subsidiary of match.com.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 11:10am

I agree.  I'm 55--I hated EH.  I just thought that not being able to see who was on there was not appealing to me.  You can specify an age, location, etc. but a lot of times they will send you people who are outside of your specifications.  And then some days I would get 8 guys but then days could go by with no one.  You might as well try POF since it's free & see what you can find.  I found that in my area there was a lot of overlap w/ guys who were on both POF and match, but I do think match is better.  However, it hasn't worked out for me at all.  I think the magic age of being over 50 might have something to do with it because of all the 50+ guys who are still thinking they are going to get women in their 30's.  I was on for a while in 2011 and met a few guys, but none of them really went anywhere.  I took a break and then went back on a couple of months ago and haven't even gotten to the email stage with anyone.  And no one has contacted me either.  I went past the feelings of being rejected to just thinking that if I ever meet someone it will be more likely in person, where when people don't know my age, they think I'm much younger.  I don't want to be discouraging--it might work out fine for you, but if it doesn't, don't think it's because of you--most women over 50 I know of don't seem to have much success on OLD, which is ironic considering the large number of men in that age group on there.

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 6:20pm

That's interesting about eHarmony because I came to the same conclusion as both of you ladies.  It was a bit lacking in what I was looking for.  I did try match, but lost interest. I also tried Our Time and didn't have much luck. 

I actually had the best response for a while from OKCupid, but since it was free, I felt it was more like a hook up site than a real dating site with guys who were interested in a relationship. I guess after a certain age, they're not; well not with a peer.  I havent' tried POF because I've heard so many negative things about it.

I may reconsider match. My sister found her husband on match, so I know it can work. They're happily married for over 8 years now, so I guess it did match them up. My Babygirl is also on match and she just met a guy she really likes.  Guess it's time for me to hold my nose and jump in.

Thanks!Laughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 12:41am
I think you should try two sites at a time, maybe Match and POF. Both sites have their pros and cons, there are people who have met great people from both, and people who've met sucky people from both. You could even write completely different profiles, use different photos, etc to show different aspects of yourself on each site and see what happens.
Follow me to Coping with Job Loss

Follow me to Birth Control

--------
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 1:57pm

I never tried EH but I knew some people that did. I do not like the idea of not having control over whos profiles you get to see. They claim to have this wonderful alogrithm that can match people. I just like the control to be in my hands.

I never tried any of the free sites, but it follows that you would see higher numbers of guys there just for hookups, when the site is free.

I had used yahoo some years ago but they rae gone. Match worked out for me. Being the most popular site you are more likely to find a match there since they have the huge user base. It's unfortunate these guys over 50 are trying for the 30 year olds. I suppose the vast number of profiles out there just perpetuate the idea that if he just waist another day, another week, the right 30 year old will join the site, so he better not "settle" and contact that 50 something woman he was interested in, but , well, she is 50 something.

I believe if I remember correctly, there are more women out there than men, and that ratio gets worse as you get older. That puts men more and more in the position of power in the dating game as they and you age.

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Fri, 12-14-2012 - 9:57pm

So, I plopped down the money and joined Match for 3 months.

I immediately got a hit--I think it's because I'm new. But (lol, there's always a 'but'...) the guy's profile reads like someone who is after someone he can practice this weird sexual thing on--15 minute O's.  Ugh! I had to shut him down really quick. Even though the idea intrigues me, my God! man, I don't even know your last name!  Can't this mess wait a minute? 

Ugh, the cesspool of dating...

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: xxxs
Wed, 12-19-2012 - 3:40am

  Tsk,tsk, with a definition like that dating is not for you.  Attitude counts. 

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 12-19-2012 - 6:15pm

Although I met my fiance on Christiandatingforfree, I really liked OKCupid and went on a few dates through that site within the first month I joined. BTW, I am a 50 yr. old man that had no qualms about dating women my age, as long as they took care of their mental and physical health to the extent that I had.

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Thu, 12-20-2012 - 8:50am

oh please... save me the tsking and judgements about my attitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 12-21-2012 - 12:45pm

I'm with the others that EH is a big waste of money. OLD is about having access to a lot of people since it's so hard to find mutual attraction. The gimmicky pre-matching has no scientific merits.  It's based on superficial personal preferences that make for intersting conversation starters but there are lots of people that you can have a conversation with that don't have other important core values you want. In addition, like any OLD, given the fleeting moment during which you decide whether you want to go out with  someone, people still rely on physical attributes: race, age, looks, wt, ht to feel an initial attraction so it's not different from the other OLD but now they limit your access a significant way.

POF have lots of low-quality men or maybe it's because of the area I'm in now. Don't know. Their search engine is very poor so even when you want to choose the men yourself, you can't design a search to fit what you're looking for.

I've heard sporatic good comments about OKCupid including from a gf of mine. Havn'et tried it.

I was on Match for the longest time, including a year or so on Match while living in Los Angeles. This was 8 years ago. YOu'd think I'd find someone given my younger age (38 at the time), and location but I found most men were just way to snobbish. I didn't have the stomach for it so haven't been back.

I'm not on any site now. I'm in  a R/S now. Long story how it evolved...Another subject :)

BUT, if I was to test the OLD again, I would probably use more than one sites just to increase my exposure. I would use Match again given the large user base. Maybe a free one like OK Cupid. And a niche one. The key is to just put yourself out there and take some knock-em-dead photos.

 

Pages