10 Signs Your Date's a Keeper

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
10 Signs Your Date's a Keeper
12
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 10:53pm

This is probably the least "glorified" list I've seen.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 11:09pm
This seems like a pretty good list. It all sort of seems like common sense to me but I suppose love can be blind when it comes to some of these things.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 11:10pm

Oh, I *love* this list! Character is key, to me...and this really focuses on it.

Of course, *finding* someone like this is problematic, in this day and age where good character seems to be valued so little.

But I do love this list ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 3:10am

Well all 10 things apply to me...I guess I dont convey it very well to others but thats another problem for another day.

I get the impression this is a list for women to judge men according to so that is why I say that. But if it applicable to women I honestly have to say I have never met a woman who passes more then 3 or 4 of those questions/characteristics on that list.

Good character is lacking in almost everybody these days it seems, in both men and women.

I am a slightly negative person I admit but honestly...arent there a lot of jerks out there?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 11:53am

Yes, there are...no doubt about that. I'm sorry to hear you've had a similar negative experience with women.

But, I know women who would score highly on this test exist...because I'm friends with them. And it's heartening to know that there is at least one man out there who scores well also ;-).

I'm curious though...I would think that having good character and realizing it would give a person a great amount of self-esteem and self-confidence (I know it does me--not in a "I'm all that and a bag of chips" way, but in a "I'm a good person and I know it and so do my friends and it doesn't matter if some jerk doesn't realize it" way). Doesn't it give you a quiet, solid confidence to realize you're a good guy?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 12:37pm

I just happen to drop into this board...and I had to respond :)

I think its hard to find a guy like this bc its finding BOTH romance and intimacy thats so difficult. We usually have trouble establishing the intimacy when the romance isn't there. You can learn to create romance...but ONLY if they have #9 and #10 on that list! Yet if someone's true self doesn't match with yours, you can't create intimacy no matter how self aware and open to communicating with your partner that you are.

Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 3:04pm

It gives me a more cynical outlook on life then a confident one. Sometimes I think I am the only person with common sense, sometimes I think I am the only one that doesnt treat others like complete crap, and sometimes I just don't care anymore.

I'm just burnt out trying to let people know I am a good person.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 3:14pm

Oh...interesting, see my immediate reaction to your post was, who CARES what other people think so long as YOU know you're a good person??? THAT is what matters. That is the essence of self-esteem IMO.

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 3:44pm

Hey there, nice to "see" you!!!

I'm not so concerned with that distinction you're making because I need to meet someone I'm attracted to who has all these characteristics first ;-). But you do have a good point.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 5:03pm

I agree with this list, but I think the title is misleading -- because it's more about evaluating someone who has moved beyond the "date" category.

These are all things that come out later in a dating relationship (minus one or two obvious ones, like tipping waiters). It's just too bad that some of these things are not as obvious earlier on -- during the stage when you are not yet attached. :)

Or, maybe I'm not asking the right questions early enough. Do all of you find these things out about someone within one or two dates?

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 5:54pm

Oh, I think a number of these things could come out in the first couple-three dates...asking about their volunteer activities, for example. Same with whether they have any long-term friends. Much of it needs to be observed over time (people can say anything they want on a date, of course...the proof is in their behavior), but I think you could sure find out a lot about the stuff on this list in the first 2 months or so (which is about the amount I prefer to date someone before becoming exclusive, so that I *can* observe this type of stuff before becoming too attached).

Sheri

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