10 years later...
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| Fri, 08-24-2007 - 4:11pm |
I met some old coworkers for drinks last night. We all worked together 10 years ago - it was my first job out of college when I was 22.
Anyway, it was great to see them. It's been two years since we all got together, so of course they asked if I was married/seeing anyone, etc. (They all remember the boyfriend I was with for 5 years). Always a bit of a sore spot for me to share any of my back story.
Some of them have started businesses, changed jobs several times, have gotten married, had a few kids, etc.
Because they were such a big part of my life 10 years ago, it was an acute reminder of how my life has/hasn't changed in 10 years. I'm still single - that's the big thing that's the same. My career has moved forward, but on a bit of a winding path. In short, I suppose I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be.
On the plus side, I am so much more confident and like myself a whole lot more than I did then. I make more money. I have a house and a dog. All good things. I suppose thinking about it made me a little blue, but it's not the end of the world by any stretch.
So, what about all of you? Are you where you thought you'd be when you said, "10 years from now, I will..." ?

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AJ, enjoying life with C.
Fair enough. So can I start a separate thread on that next week ?............
(just kidding, I am not going to)
Edited 8/24/2007 4:42 pm ET by capegirardeau
I finished grad school at 26, so I have had a real job for only 8 years. All but one of my close friends are married. Almost all have kids. I am sick of hearing why I am not married (if they could read facial expressions, they would read "none of your GD business"). But I think that will change eventually.. speaking of which, I recently starting going out with a girl with whom I connect like I have connected with no other before. And that's excluding the horizontal marathon(which we have yet to run). We are both very passionate about (classical) music. She is working toward her doctorate in music at a major state univ and plans on teaching at the University level. She is also a classically trained vocalist -- amazing voice and I, well..just a lowly amateur pianist. So if this relationship goes forward, as I hope it does, I see many many hours of us making music (literally and figuratively) with she singing and I accompanying her on the piano. When she is not analyzing music or writing scores, she hikes (having grown up in Evergreen, CO, and with plenty of trails out here in the southwest), kayaks, and the rest of the outdoorsy stuff -- as I do. We are getting together this weekend at my place for marathon sessions of movies, music and (hopefully) more.
But I digress. What have I achieved in 10 years. I will say I am wiser, smarter and I can (thankfully) afford to walk out of the grocery store without ever knowing how much I spent. But most of all, I think my most valuable acquisition over the years has been wisdom. I know how the world works, what it takes to be successful , how things are meant to be..and most importantly -- the secret to happiness (cannot be happy unless you know what it means to be happy).
you make me laugh. i have been thru many realtionshps and life experiences. I would think at my age i would have a mate who has invested well to take care of me etc. hehe My life is surely different.
I divorced the hubby that has the $ and married a guy who did not have money that i loved, he died almost 15 years ago.
I know you would like to hear from people close to your age, but when we talk about life, it affects all who are living.
I would think at 68, I would have a hubby who was fun to be with, be financially secure and have great companionship and great sex. Yahoo yes, people my age think sex.
I had one divorce cause I didn't love the man. he has a lot of money and was a good dad. next hubby was someone I really loved. He dropped dead, fairly young with a coronary. ( 54)
Here i am a very attractive 68 year old, good job, still dates, all positives, am I where i thought I would be???????? hell no. Follow your heart. Life is more about love, forgiveness and peace. Every thing else to me, is about lessons.
I have had many man friends, lots of sex, many plans, so here i am , like awakening from a dream. do your best day to day. come from love in your heart. have trust in your higher power, learn what you need to about realtionships
and BE Happy and stay a place of contentment. We do not know what life brings to us. Be strong and healthy within yourself. Love Leila
I am so not where I thought I'd be with my life. I'm 29, still living at home, still single, still struggling financially...oh, if I knew then what I knew now, but in hindsight, I guess I had to go through all that to get where I'm at now, which is starting the mortgage process, finally realizing that I really need to get out of my house and away from my family, and I do want a relationship, but well, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. I see friends my age married and having their first and second kids and I want all that, but just not quite yet. But yeah, if you would have asked me 10 years ago where I saw myself in 10 years, I'd say "married with a couple of kids, happy, etc.".
Life just doesn't turn out how you expect it to.
Awesome post Leila! Love your attitude.
I was 31 years old 10 years ago. I was involved with the best boyfriend of my life (I knew he was great then but didn't think the revolving door of boyfriends would stop at 35....lol), was bartending and making some mad cash, lived in California, was in great shape, had an abundance of friends, and plenty to do. Since then I've lived in Minnesota, Maryland and back to Minnesota again. My career was at its peak in Maryland but my social life, self-esteem and looks took a nosedive. Now I'm in the process of reinventing myself. I have never married and have not had any kids. When I turned 40 I had a very hard time. My life was nothing like I had dreamed and I was so mad, upset and sad about that. I'm mostly over that now. It's hard to put one foot in front of the other when your dreams don't come true but you just have to. Plus, you have to realize that the power is within. *I* need to make the necessary changes that make me happy. Yes, I want a husband and yes, I want kids. I suppose if I really wanted them that badly prior to now I would have married one of the three guys who asked me back when. I'm waiting for the right one at the right time. And it's not right yet.
10 years ago, I never thought I would be where I am now. I knew I would have a job, which I did, but never expected to move to Texas and then back home.
I never would have expected to have a stroke last year; I thought that only happened to older people. Being married and having a kid wasn't really part of my plan... but I never expected to be in a relationship that has such quality to it.
And if I really wanted the outside security, i would have stayed with hubby #1. Guess I had to learn it is from within. I somehow needed to go thru wild years or wharever I needed to do to learn about what is important. we are actually doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. Sometimes we know the reason, sometimes it is not clear.
Maybe you had 12 kids in your last life and you are taking a break.
Now, 10 years from now? Maybe I'll be in Italy on a senior trip 78 with a 70 year old tall, handsome, spiritual guy.
We were cleaning out patients stuff, that had been discharged, when it came to some condoms, the secretary told me to keep them. I think it is so cool to be 68 and prepared. hehe How long are they good for? when do I throw them out? leila
10 years ago, I was 19 and I can easily say everything in my life has completely changed.
Then, I was a sophomore in college, living with both my parents, working at a pizza joint and a TV station and I was madly in love with the greatest and only boyfriend I've had so far. We were best friends and talked and saw each other everyday and I felt confident that I'd met the love of my life and that we'd marry and raise a family one day. I also had few friends, which was my biggest struggle then and was still very shy, introverted and insecure.
Now, I've finished both my bachelor's and a master's, the latter I never planned on doing. I have my own place and 2 wonderful, adorable cats, I have a slew of friends and associates and am very active socially and have tried a ton of things I never thought I'd do. I have a great marketing job, I get to travel, I'm financially free to do whatever I want and I've also done some modeling, acting and have writing projects in the works. The only thing that has not improved in 10 years is my love life. Every morning I wake up (as I did this morning) still slightly amazed and disappointed that there isn't anyone waking up next to me and that it has really been years since someone wanted that position. I never thought I'd be single and really struggling in dating at 29 and for 3 years straight. I thought I'd be engaged by 28 and married by 30 with 3 kids by 32 and blah, blah, blah. And even when my relationship ended in 2004, I thought an all-around catch like me wouldn't be single for long and any guy would be excited to have me. Hasnt happened yet. Little did I know that the single life would be something I'd have to accept and get used to.
Nowadays, I don't even look or think far into the future because no matter how much I want something, I've given up on the dream that it will definitely happen. I've learned that life doesn't work that way for everyone.
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