10 years later...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
10 years later...
23
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 4:11pm

I met some old coworkers for drinks last night. We all worked together 10 years ago - it was my first job out of college when I was 22.

Anyway, it was great to see them. It's been two years since we all got together, so of course they asked if I was married/seeing anyone, etc. (They all remember the boyfriend I was with for 5 years). Always a bit of a sore spot for me to share any of my back story.

Some of them have started businesses, changed jobs several times, have gotten married, had a few kids, etc.

Because they were such a big part of my life 10 years ago, it was an acute reminder of how my life has/hasn't changed in 10 years. I'm still single - that's the big thing that's the same. My career has moved forward, but on a bit of a winding path. In short, I suppose I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be.

On the plus side, I am so much more confident and like myself a whole lot more than I did then. I make more money. I have a house and a dog. All good things. I suppose thinking about it made me a little blue, but it's not the end of the world by any stretch.

So, what about all of you? Are you where you thought you'd be when you said, "10 years from now, I will..." ?

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 8:12pm

I am a lurker who doesn't post often, but I really liked the thread topic, and reflecting helped me to see how much I really have done, even if my life has turned out nothing like I thought!

10 years ago, I was 22 and in my first professional job, but really unsure of what I wanted in a career. I hadn't dated very much, but figured I'd be married within 5 years, tops. Since I still had a lot of college friends and was making new friends through work, I was meeting people and generally having a good time. I wanted a house in the suburbs, some kids, and to be a stay at home mom.

Since that time, I've had some good professional opportunities and learned so much, but ultimately decided I wanted to pursue something different. I am working full time in my first career and taking classes at night to launch my second career. I started to exercise, eat more healthfully, and eventually trained for a marathon. I've lost some friends along the way, but made new ones who share my current interests. My relationship with my family has become stronger in the last 10 years. I bought a condo in a neighborhood I love. I only had one significant romantic relationship, but that taught me so much as well, and I am sufficiently healed to be grateful for the experience.

And no, this is nothing like the life I imagined. I still want to find a husband, a true life partner, and that has frustrated me quite a bit, but overall I like the life I have worked towards.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 12:42pm

Thanks for delurking to share. :)

I think being grateful for our unique experiences is key. Good attitude.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 1:15pm

I think everyone has felt that. But to keep myself from falling into a pit of self-pity, which is quite easy to do, I remember that saying, "the grass is always greener."

These old friends have things that you don't have, yes. But have you ever thought that they may be thinking the same about you? Maybe they're thinking, "I wish I owned a home that was all mine. It must be nice." Or maybe they're thinking, "I wish I was like--. She doesn't have to go home and do the ironing for a house full of people, and she can go to bed when she wants and take naps when she wants!" You are most likely being envied by someone right now. So really, success is relative based on how the people who perceive your success define it. To you, upward mobility in your career or having kids would be success. To someone else, being able to live independently is success. There are things that others have that you are going to want for yourself, sure, but don't forget about the things that you have accomplished or the things that you have that other people would kill for. It all comes out in the wash.

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