1st Time Single - Lack of Dating Skills

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
1st Time Single - Lack of Dating Skills
2
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 1:15pm

Hello Everyone!

I'm kind of confused about my single life and how to deal with it at this stage of my life (24 Years Old) is that Normal?

I like being single and I don't!

The way I see it is that being single give us the opportunity to do so many things without asking for permission or approval from anybody – We don’t have to worry about looking cute and sexy every time we go visit our boyfriends – If we want to stay home all Sunday without taking a shower – Who Cares – I love it!

On the other hand, I feel that society is constantly reminding us that a “normal” girl needs to be in a relationship or she has a problem. What's up with that? I do want a boyfriend sometimes – But I don’t want that drama that comes with it!

According to my friends I’m Still not over my ex-boyfriend of 4 years – I heard that the time needed to get over an ex – is about ½ of the time of the relationship – 2 Years? No Way – That’s too much time. There are times. When I do miss him, other times when I don't want to hear from him, other times - When I just thank God for being without him!

Anyway, I do want to “date”, but I'm really bad on this "dating thing”. Why guys analyze so much a girl when they take her out. I mean we are not getting married! Is that Normal or common? Why not just "be yourself" ... It’s like a chasing game type of thing – Last but not least. Does dating involve sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 1:41pm

Dating is whatever you want it to be. If you want sex, great! If not, that is great, too. From my experience, it is whatever you want or need it to be. The good thing right now, is that it seems you just want to have fun and get some experience with dating. Just go out and do it and don't think about it too much. Some guys will want more and some will not. Not all guys are looking to get into marriage material, espeically not at 24. Yes, we get a little pickier as we get older, but that is a good thing, too. Just go out and have fun. Also, your feelings of being alone and what society thinks should be normal?? If you're comfortble with being alone, that that feeling will trickle down. I think you'll find that more people are okay with your singleness if you're happy with it. Especially at 24, you're still so young!! I have found this out with my old age of 30 :)

Good Luck!

KCole

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 6:45pm

Like you, I have been out of the dating scene for a few years now, but that shouldn't get you down. If you are not looking for a serious relationship right now, then bring that up in the very beginning of meeting someone that you would be interested in more than just a friendship. As for being yourself, that is the only person you should be. You shouldn't let society and it's *views* of you take control. Try not to let them influence you. As for your other questions, those answers are up to you. You do what feels right and comfortable for you. Best of luck and I hope everything works out for you, I am sure it will :)

One final note, enjoy being single, eat it up, it's great :) I, myself love it.