2 of the loves of my life are in the picture at the same time. Need your thoughts!
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|Mon, 08-05-2013 - 10:17pm|
Heey all, for any of you that have read my previous posts - I was mainly talking about a guy that I was dating and didn't have feelings for, and an ex from a few years ago that I contacted recently (let's call him guy A). So quick update: I ended things with the guy I was seeing because I didn'tn feel the connection. I'm still flirting with guy A - we talk about the "good times" and he said a few times that I met him at the wrong time in life and he had wrong ideals about relationships back then. Since it's super long distance, I don't really have much hopes of it going anywhere. Besides, he's just out of a long term relationship. The main reason I'm in touch with him is because he's the one that got away. And I have always wondered if things would be different if we met up now. So.... he's visiting me! I have waited and waaiited and waited but never thought this would ever happen! But like I said, I'm keeping my hopes low because he does live half way across the country from me. My friends tell me he's most definitely in it for a fling, and I think I agree with them as well.
Time for a plot twist. My life is like a dramatic novel. My immediate ex and me had stayed friends since the break up 6 months ago (we didn't talk for a few months, but we kept in touch letting each other know if something major was going on in our lives), although the last time we saw each other in person was during the breakup (this is the guy that had doubts about our relationship and dumped me out of the blue when we were almost ready to move in together because he "wasn't sure" I was the right partner for him because he had vastly different political views and religious beliefs (even though we never fought about these issues) - let's call him guy B). Me and him are best friends and he isn't really "close" to anyone else other than me... So anyway, we met up last night for some NSA fun - that was the deal. He knew I was talking to other people. But the minute he found out I've actually been dating other people and how guy A is visiting me, he got super jealous (he's only been jealous ONCE throughout our entire relationship! So that reaction was so weird coming from him) and he thinks maybe we should give our relationship another shot and he feels like he really lost me for good. I told him I can't trust him not to break up with me again if we were to get back together, so I didn't want to do that. He said he hadn't dated anyone since me and him broke up and that he took the break up really hard (even though he broke up with me!). The reason I started talking to other people, and reached out to guy A was because I knew me and guy B were over for good. Hearing him say all those things was hard, but I'm really wanting to see guy A. Whether or not it goes anywhere, it doesn't matter.
Am I doing anything wrong? Is it crazy meeting up with guy A even though we might just be doing it for the fling? I'm single, right? What's the harm? Right now I'm looking at 2 of the only men I've loved in all my life. The first one who was the "what if" (guy A). The second one, the guy who I pictured a future with - except he kept breaking up with me and hurting me (he broke up with me a total of 3 times, although the first two times we got back together within a couple of weeks). As much as I want to get back together with guy B, I have to meet up with guy A first. I can't just let guy B think that he can break up and get back together with me whenever he likes. He has this thought in his head that I'll always be his (at the same time he broke up with me because he wanted to find someone better compatible for him!). My friend said if I want to get back together with guy B, I should ask guy A to cancel his trip. Now you might ask me if my motivation for meeting up with guy A is to make guy B jealous - my answer would be - no. Like I said, I just have to have closure with this guy. And I think meeting him would help with that.... and if there's nothign there, and if guy B is still single, maybe it will make us stronger, no? Or am I too delirious?
I have no idea what to think right now. And when did my life get so dramatic?! Please give me a second person's perspective on things!!! :)