2 straight women. Happily ever after?

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Registered: 05-14-1999
2 straight women. Happily ever after?
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Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:30pm

My former boss, geez, this goes back about six years ago. She was very straight, in my opinion anyway. She tried the online dating thing, had visible crushes on some of our clients, though she never acted on them, would point out men whom she found attractive when out in public.

Well, she happened to live with her boss’s daughter. Both of these women were in their forties, were very independent, very strong females. They were also athletic and didn't conform to what society deemed feminine. You can read between the lines. These facts aren't pertinent to my question, but I thought I'd be as detailed as possible.

All, okay, some, of the girls I worked with thought they were lesbians. I didn't care if they were or not but I just didn't buy it. I knew that each of them had former relationships, fairly recent ones, with men, and one of them had actually been married for a short time. Also, they were Baptists and anyone who knows anything about that religion knows that homosexuality is not quite acceptable. So ... they were living together when my former employer downsized, thus, doing away with my boss’s position. Word on the street is that they still share a home.

I am just wondering what you all think. Do you think that by living with your best friend, you are hampering your chances of finding love? Or, do you think it's a healthy alternative to settling down and having a family? Coincidentally, they (from what I heard) do everything together: vacations, company picnics, I think they even bought their home together.

I think I would tire of the accusations, the assumptions, but other than that, I think it could be quite enjoyable. Although, I think I could only do it if I had absolutely positively decided that I was not marriage material. I don't know if it would be wise to commit to purchasing a home with a friend if I thought there was even a remote chance that I'd fall in love and get married. Of course, who can predict these things?

I have friends who are in their late 20's, early 30's and live with their best friends, but I don't think the same stigma applies to younger individuals. For some reason, I think it's more acceptable. Maybe living with ones best friend in ones forties is acceptable as well, but from hearing the gossip that floated around at work, it was not. It wasn't "I think they're lesbians". It was "Yuck. I think they're lesbians".

What do you all think about relationships such as this one? Do you think it's healthy? Do you know of women who have chosen this avenue? Again, I'm not discussing homosexuality; I'm talking about two heterosexual women deciding to share their lives with one another.

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Avatar for cfk_3
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Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 7:17pm

Oh, no need to apologize. I didn't think you were judging my post at all. I just wanted to make sure that I clarified. I wrote: "I would tire of the assumptions" I didn't want anyone to think that I thought being gay was a shameful thing or something.

I've done the roommate thing too. Not sure if I ever want to go through that again. Oh, the stories I could share! Although, I was very young then. I would guess that older, more mature folks respect each other more.

I have a doggie too. She's the perfect roommie; she almost never complains!

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Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 10:55am

You know I have spoken of my friend the professor often. She did not come to terms with her own sexuality until just a few years ago. And she had relationships with men in the past, disasters mostly. I think she would have looked hard at the religious implications the same as TG . .. difficult for many to be out, especially if they have family and professional relationships that would be extremely disapproving. For my friend, she is in a very liberal environment and just embraced it. For someone in a religious community . . .

Point is this sounds like a very close relationship. They indeed sound like a couple.

As to the other half of the question, and having been married for 18 years . . . just from a property stand point, combining your life's to that degree as friends only seems very risky. Even more so if other relationships and love were actively desired. I could not imagine the mess if one or the other ever did fall madly in love and want to move forward / get married . . whatever with that person. Separating 18 years of a life is messy at best. Not only would it present to many challenges regarding money and assets, but the potential fall out could challenge the friend ship it self.

So, do I think it is possible for two friends to combine there life's so tightly, yes . . .recommended, likely to go well . . for very few I would think. It would require a very special relationship, and I would think a very unique approach to life.

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