20th high school reunion

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Registered: 09-05-2003
20th high school reunion
8
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 4:12pm

Well, last night I attended my 20th high school reunion. I went with a mix of excitement, curiosity and fear. I went with some girlfriends from high school, half of whom are single, the others are married. I hate to admit it, but I was worried about how this would play upon my issues around still being single.

It was actually a lot of fun -- so great to see a lot of people there. Ethnic Cook was right -- no one really seemed to ask or care if I was married or single or what, but still, I was AMAZED at how many people there were married, had kids, the whole deal. As much as I really do like my life the way it is and know I'm very blessed, it still got to me. It starts to feel like this goal that I can't seem to accomplish for some reason. I fight this feeling every day, even though I know better and I hate the mentality in this culture that it's better to be stuck in a bad marriage than be single and independent...

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Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 8:01pm
Wow, you are so much braver than I. I skipped both my 10th and 15th year high school reunions. I think it's great that you set your fear aside and went. That's awesome! Did you reconnect with any people?
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Registered: 04-25-2004
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 9:58pm

i went to my 10th reunion two years ago and it seemed like the unmarried people were in the minority. and the ones who were married had that whole married people bond going, like they all kept in touch obviously and were connecting over weddings and babies and if I couldn't offer my two cents on those two topics then they didnt know what else to talk to me about.

overall my reunion was a little depressing for me. i walked away from it without feeling like i gained much from it because i really had nothing in common with a lot of the people i was friends with because my life is so different from theirs-- unmarried, no kids, lived in different places. then i did briefly speak with a guy i had a crush on during high school and who i think liked me too but it was always really weird between us because of that.. i was too shy and he was too shy... and then at one point he moved away then i moved away and when we saw each other at the reunion it was almost sad because we were both still single but seemed to have lost that connection we had in high school and i think he was a little hurt because i never contacted him when i moved back home. sometimes i hope that we cross paths again-- we both live in the same area now but i don't know, i always figured that if he really wanted to see me he'd track me down which i know would be very easy for him.

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Registered: 09-05-2003
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 10:07pm

I almost didn't go. The only reason I did was because some of my old HS friends were going and they convinced me. I did reconnect with some cool people, and it was great to see my friends again. Overall, I'm glad I went. Even though it was a little traumatic for me - LOL - I think it made me realize how much I've grown and changed since high school, and how much more confident I am now.

You should go to your 20th. I kept telling myself that a) I could leave whenever I wanted, and b) I would probably never see most of these people again (unless I wanted to), so it didn't really matter what they thought of me or where I am in my life.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 3:39pm
I'm sorry that you had a bad experience at your reunion. However, I think you should try to track down that guy! Do you think you can locate him? Ask him out for coffee. That way, you aren't obligated to stick around for more than maybe half an hour, just in case it's awkward or like you indicated, the spark is just not there anymore. What do you have to lose? Do it. Do it ; ) I dare you. No, I double dog dare you ; ) What am I eight years old again?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 3:44pm
I would but I only went to that high school my junior and senior years. On top of only going there for two years, not meaning to come off as a complete and total loser, but I was also painfully shy so I literally only made a handful of friends. I may end up going to my 20th though, who knows.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 11:50pm
hey, I only went to my high school for 1/2 of junior and all of senior year. I actually rather disliked, no, hated it! Hence, I skipped my 10 year reunion, but the 20, I just attended out of curiousity. I'm glad that Neppi, the OP, enjoyed hers. And, think of the folks who don't show up - there's a reason why they didn't come. NOt everybody has a hunky-dory, happy and perfect life. We all have troubles, some just hide them better than others; while others ignore them and so forth. Don't feel down about things - be proud of the other things in your life that you have accomplished and done well. That's what I tell my mother, as she is very sad that she is not a grandmother and she is 67 now. I remind her that I do things that none of the other folks with kids do, but ..... it doesn't really equate to her (worse, she just says that I'm different...but it doesn't sound like a compliment)....so I know how you feel. I'm just trying to boost your spirits as best as I can. It's all in our value systems - that's what affects how we feel about ourselves. I've revised mine, but I cannot revise my mother's or other's.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 12:24am
No need to try to boost my spirits although, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm fine with who I am. I've taken a different path than most, but that doesn't mean that I'm ashamed of that path :) I see myself as many of you here do, someone who thinks outside of the conventional box.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 12:31am
yep, that's the truth, some of us are definitely "outside of the conventional box"! Good choice of words!