3rd Date - Dinner at home??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
3rd Date - Dinner at home??
10
Tue, 05-28-2013 - 12:33pm

So I’ve gone on 2 dates already and she is game for a third. For a third date, I was thinking of making a casual dinner at home, like something on the grill, and then head to a mini-golf/arcade kind of place which she has expressed an interest in after I suggested it.  Nothing fancy or candle-lit just yet, and with absolutely no other “intentions” in mind, only because I really want this to work and to take my time when it comes to sex/intimacy.

Is inviting her to my house to cook for her/us a little too much, or too soon for a third date?  To give you some background on where we are now….

…the first date was just a brief get to know you dinner.  Date #2 was going to be dinner and bowling, which she was open to.  Dinner went well, but bowling was a 45 min wait to get a lane, so we went to a coffee shop for cappuccinos, and then a self-serve frozen yogurt place.  Conversation at the second date felt very positive, and things seem to be on a decent track.  Our casual, random texts throughout the day are becoming more regular, especially when initiated by her, and as I said, she definitely wants a third date.  Both of these dates took place near where she lives, so I figured why not invite her to my area.

I appreciate all of your advice!!

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Tue, 05-28-2013 - 5:42pm

mrblue732 wrote:
<p><span style="font-family:Calibri; color:#000000; font-size:small">So I’ve gone on 2 dates already and she is game for a third. For a third date, I was thinking of making a casual dinner at home, like something on the grill, and then head to a mini-golf/arcade kind of place which she has expressed an interest in after I suggested it.<span>  </span>Nothing fancy or candle-lit just yet, and with absolutely no other “intentions” in mind, only because I really want this to work and to take my time when it comes to sex/intimacy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:Calibri; color:#000000; font-size:small">Is inviting her to my house to cook for her/us a little too much, or too soon for a third date?<span>  </span>To give you some background on where we are now….</span></p><p><span style="font-family:Calibri; color:#000000; font-size:small">…the first date was just a brief get to know you dinner.<span>  </span>Date #2 was going to be dinner and bowling, which she was open to.<span>  </span>Dinner went well, but bowling was a 45 min wait to get a lane, so we went to a coffee shop for cappuccinos, and then a self-serve frozen yogurt place.<span>  </span>Conversation at the second date felt very positive, and things seem to be on a decent track.<span>  </span>Our casual, random texts throughout the day are becoming more regular, especially when initiated by her, and as I said, she definitely wants a third date.<span>  </span>Both of these dates took place near where she lives, so I figured why not invite her to my area.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:Calibri; color:#000000; font-size:small">I appreciate all of your advice!!</span></p>

I would hold off on dinner at your place right now.  In a little while, but not now. How about you still cooking the dinner, but doing a picnic someplace nice and romantic?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 05-28-2013 - 7:30pm

I think it depends on her reaction to you but depending on how much time you have spent together, it might be too much too soon to ask her to your house now--she might feel you just want to get her alone even if your motives aren't like that.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-30-2013 - 6:33pm
I wouldn't be offended if a guy invited me to his place on the third date. I think it's a sweet gesture. The way I see it, the female is always the one in control. She may wonder about you motives, but she can still say "No" if she wants . . . good luck!
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-30-2013 - 6:38pm

Okay, am I the only one having major probs with the site?  I just did a quick reply and when I checked back, it was an empty reply.

Sorry if this is duplicated somewhere:  I say invite her over and cook.  She may wonder about your motives, true, but she can always make another suggestion if she finds you so irresistible that she questions her ability to use the word "No". 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Thu, 05-30-2013 - 7:53pm

When a guy invites me over, I assume he wants sex. It doesn't matter if he says otherwise. Men always want sex. I'd hold off. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 9:24am

Thanks all for your advice. 

As thoughtful as it was, I bit the bullet and asked her over for dinner at my place. 

I called last night to firm up or Sunday plans, and discussed dinner options.  I offered the SUGGESTION of grilling some steaks at my house before going to where we were going, and also offered to go out elsewhere if she preferred or felt more comfortable.  She said she was ok and comfortable with have dinner at my house, and that she trusts me. 

So I'm guessing this is a good sign.  I would assume if she wasn't indeed ok with it, she'd say something?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 10:13am

Not necessarily. As women, we're conditioned to be nice. She might truly be okay with it, but most likely she just didn't want to offend you by saying she wasn't comfortable yet. 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 11:07am

I think it depends on the person as every woman is different.  I, for example, would have made another suggestion had I been uncomfortable with the plan.  The fact is, she's coming so, get that prep work out of the way and get your place pulled together so you can impress her :)  Have fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 11:16am

Well good luck.  I know there are some guys I have dated who just gave me a very comfortable feeling after being with them once or twice where they weren't too agressive so I would feel ok about going to their house. 

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 06-09-2013 - 2:18pm

That's Cool!

Nightangel