AAAH! What Do I Do?
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AAAH! What Do I Do?
| Wed, 04-11-2007 - 11:57am |
Okay. I feel like an idiot, but here's my story. I've been single since January 11th and I broke up with my ex (after 2.5 years) because he was starting to get clingy and online stalker-ish on me and simply because I just didn't feel that he was what I was really looking for. And I had told myself that I would be single for at least 2 years (which I don't mind at all, I'm totally cool with being alone and I prefer it most days). But I met a guy online and started to go on some dates with him (this has been over the past 3 weeks) and I really liked him a lot during the first and second weeks, but then I started to realize how needy and clingy this guy is (which is what I tend to try to avoid). He told me that he strives to be in committed relationships and that when he sees something he wants, he's gotta have it NOW (including me). And he's an outgoing person and I tend to be really shy as I get to know someone, so he's been a huge jerk about me being shy, he even stays quiet on the phone and then hangs up on me if I don't sit there and talk about myself. So I was starting to get really pissed off with him, and honestly, I don't know why I even continue to give this guy a chance! We have great chemistry and everything, but he wants something serious, I just want to be single and I'm a very busy person and he's not. He said he's willing to sit on the backburner until I have time for him, but frankly, it's not attractive to me that a guy would purposefully "follow me around" like that. And what I really feel bad about is that last night, one thing led to another and we had sex and even though it was pretty good, I can't help but still feel that this guy is only going to continue to be a selfish jerk about my free time. My interest in him is slowly waning (which is probably the biggest reason why I feel bad for having a home run with him last night) and I just don't know how to go about getting him out of my life. :( Honestly, I tried telling him that I wasn't ready for a relationship after I'd known him for only one week, but he just got really pissed off and I consented to seeing him again. I feel so stupid. Any advice?

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It sounds like you already know the answer. You don't like this guy and you're annoyed by him. On top of that, he's trying to manipulate you and make you feel bad for wanting what you want (read: not him).
Tell him you're not interested in seeing him anymore, and then don't answer his calls or e-mails so he doesn't have a chance to try to talk you into it again. You have every right to end a relationship and he doesn't have a right to hold onto you if that's not what you want.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Sounds as though this guy has some very undesirable qualities.
I completely agree with both posts... he is manipulative and you can't be too careful with guys like that!
Personally I'm surprised you slept with him feeling the way you do (not judging because I've had my fair share of bad homerun choices too)!!!
How disrespectful are guys today! I swear some of the stories I've read around here lately make me want to try that much harder to be sure I don't end up out there. No offense to those that don't have an option - I'm sure there are some quality fish... somewhere... but where!?
yikes
Why are you being passive?
Instead of waiting until the next time he's mean, just end it. You don't have to wait for anything to happen to end a relationship. Your not happy, end of story. Just say it's not working for you, good luck in the future. BUH BYE!
Smile,
Deirdre
Tell him thanks but no thanks. From what you are saying it sounds unusual that you would continue with him when he threw a fit over you not wanting to be a relationship, after one week. "Don't settle for "Anything" in your life...have the wisdom of selection." You are worth it. Keya
Just put yourself in his position for a second. How would you feel if you found out that someone was dating you out of pity or guilt? Those aren't reasons to date someone, even if intimacy has been introduced. You date someone because you genuinely enjoy being with them and respect them as a person.
If he's not doing it for you, I would break it off.
Pooh1972
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