About connecting and friendships

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
About connecting and friendships
25
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 6:07pm

This is a post about friendships and relating to others.


As single people we know how important it is to have friends, acquaintances and connections.

Soliel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 6:28pm
>> My point in sharing is this...when we are single we really want to connect, naturally, so we feel less alone and can share and enjoy.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 6:48pm
..Because I live alone, I don't get the benefit of talking with someone when I get home from work..I think that's why I come here. Sometimes, you just need to get something off your chest.



Awww poor you. Poor poor you.

What do you do after you return home and before you leave for work ? I mean what's your typical daily routine like ? And weekends ?


Edited 10/29/2007 6:50 pm ET by capegirardeau
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 7:11pm

I know.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 7:50pm

I think this is why I enjoy talking to women more than I talk to guys. I mean there are things that I only want to talk about with guys: football, girls, things like that. But I feel that women are more likely to share, listen, respond, and respect opinions for a lengthier period of time. I also feel women have more to contribute to an overall conversation. My guy friends are all extremely bright and easy going, but overall, are a rare breed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 8:14pm

"Because I live alone, I don't get the benefit of talking with someone when I get home from work..."

Yup, it's that living alone thing for me too. It stinks having to make such a great effort to reach out to people sometimes. I have started dating someone, but we're still pretty early in the relationship and although he's a great guy and I'm happy with him, he's not much of phone talker. He likes to make plans but most of our calls last at most half an hour, and he lives some distance away so it's not like we can get together every other day to watch TV or see a movie. So I usually find myself now looking forward to seeing him over the weekend which gives me something fun to look forward to.

Right now I feel like I'm just having one of those nights where no one is around, where there's nothing good on TV even, it's too cold out to go walking and I start to wish it was 11 already so I could just go to bed. I know some people will say, go take a class, join a gym, but I've done that and I'm now trying to save up for a bigger place and or car so I'd really not spend money on those things if I don't have to. Socializing is often expensive, isn't it? I've had thoughts about taking another cooking class but where I live those are usually over $100 for even one night. It's a lot of money for a short evening class that teaches you receipes you most likely will never make.

Sometimes I start to feel like my grandmother who's in her 80s and spends most of her free time alone, reading. Maybe I should have made it to the library today... ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 8:23pm

I spend most of my time alone, too.

Soliel
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 8:29pm

I agree that most of us don't really know how to listen, but I think, personally, I'd be better at it if it were an occasional thing. But, for some reason people always come to me with their problems, and I'm so tired of hearing complaints from the same people, that I find I'm not listening as well as maybe I should. But, it is a two way street. Those same people should listen when I have something to say too. So, I can't really offer suggestions on how to listen better, but I do think it's easier to do when the person you're talking to isn't a constant complainer. If their issues are few and far between, it's easier to focus on what they say and not just think to yourself...."oh no, here we go again".


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 11:00am
>> Socializing is often expensive, isn't it? I've had thoughts about taking another cooking class but where I live those are usually over $100 for even one night. <<

I know! Why does everything have to be so pricey? I'd love to take a cooking class as well, but $75 for two hours is hard to justify when I have other expenses. It has to be a once in a blue moon outing for me.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 11:04am
>> What do you do after you return home and before you leave for work ? I mean what's your typical daily routine like ? And weekends?<<

I didn't say I didn't go out, or that I wasn't social. I am. I have a good group of what I'll call "hanging out" friends. I also date. The thing is, it's a rare person with whom you can share real things. I'm not going to share the inside of my heart with my happy hour friends or the people at the dog park. That's why having a good friend who will listen--or a partner who will listen--is such a wonderful thing. You get to share things that the rest of the world shouldn't be privy to.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 11:07am
>>What I mean by this is I want to learn how to share without the other person feeling bad in anyway, and I want to really learn how to listen.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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