Almost 27 and still alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Almost 27 and still alone
8
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 12:11am
I don't know what to do anymore. In less than 3 weeks I'm going to be 27, and I still don't have a boyfriend. I never really dated in high school and I had a few "boyfriends" in college that lasted for a few months. My longest relationship was 2 years ago, (it lasted for 9mos) but he was so hung up on his last girlfriend that he barely gave me a chance. I recently moved to a big city because I hadn't dated in 2 years. Guys would get my phone number, but never call. None of my friends or family had anyone to set me up with, so I moved to a larger city in order to have more options.
For the past few weeks, I was dating a guy that I met through my cousin who was, again, hung up on his last girlfriend. I felt like I was reliving my last relationship. He treated me really crappy, so I ended it.
I don't understand what's wrong with me! I can't seem to meet a man who wants to fall in love with me. I'm drama free, flirtatious, caring, fun, smart, etc. Maybe it's because I'm tall- 6 feet! Apparently I'm
Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 2:36pm

Oh wow! My last relationship ended 2 years ago, and it had lasted for 9 months. I don't think I can go longer than 9 months without taking a "break". I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much. I have a hard time meeting people because I can't drive. Still, I imagine that I'd have a hard time finding a man who makes me "feel" anything. I'd rather stay single than settle for someone who can't make me feel something.

But face it, most men are weird in ways that you don't want them to be, and normal where you really wish they would be special. And it doesn't matter whether you're your height (6 feet tall), my height (5'7"), or my sister's height (5'2"). You're going to encounter more gripes than joys in trying to find "that one guy".

But you also have to remember, it's harder for a man to say those three words. I can empathize with them. It's really hard for me to say "I love you", too.

So...bad luck? It's not really bad luck! It's life! And sorry but, I don't have suggestions. It's not like a multiply-disabled person is good at giving advice. Well, sometimes....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 5:28pm
It's not you and it's not bad luck. It's life. :) I say that because I have been there, and it's one of the reasons I found this board in the first place (three years ago).

I am 32 and still single as well. I have dated, and one or two guys have been serious, but none of them have worked out in the end.

It sounds like you are doing everything in your power to get out there and meet people. You are open to set-ups and flirt with guys. That's a great place to start. I think it is really a matter of time and just being in the right place at the right time, and unfortunately none of us ever know when or where that place and time will be.

SO, my best advice to you is to stop pressuring yourself. So, your friends are married (mine are all way past the wedding and onto the babies). So, your parents have been married forever (mine have been married 43 years). Just because that's their story, doesn't mean it's yours. Your love story will be JUST AS SPECIAL - it's just happening later than you originally planned. That happens to a lot of us.

In the meantime, don't focus solely on meeting Mr. Wonderful. Focus on you, your friends, what excites you, having fun, enjoying life. Mr. Wonderful will come along eventually, and you can ADD him to your already wonderful life. Remember, life is what happens while we are making other plans - so be sure to enjoy that life even if Mr. W. hasn't shown himself yet. (Yes, I know, easier said than done sometimes -- I have to remind myself of the same lesson regularly). :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Wed, 11-14-2007 - 10:33am
I bet if you start living your life for YOU you will naturally meet someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2007
Wed, 11-14-2007 - 11:17am
Meeting is not the problem. People are always meeting other people. I think the problem is society is undergoing a permanent shift away from LTRs and marriages to more toward short term flings. Found this site the other day and spent a good hour on it.


www.hookupculture.com


Edited 11/14/2007 11:44 am ET by maharushnishi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 11-14-2007 - 11:49am
I only vaguely looked through the site, but I don't buy it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 1:38pm

Hey there girl.


Let's see my stats:


I'm 26 and my longest relationship lasted 1 month. He told me he loved me then turned around and said he meant it as a friend. I have not been a bridesmaid in my friends weddings because they are not married. BUT my younger male cousin just got married after knowing her for 2 months.


Know what though? I'm still positive. Everyone does things at different times. I know that isn't comforting, but I know one day I will met a man who loves me because God would not put the desire in my heart if it were not to come to be.


I know you dont want to hear it, but keep your head up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 8:01pm

I feel the same way you do, but I will be 30 next year, so imagine how I feel. And my longest relationship was 2 months.

Get yourself out there, meet new people! I am forcing myself to go out at least once a week and do something social. I'm having fun spending time with my friends, and not overly focused on meeting a guy, although it would be nice, but I'm taking this alone time to work on me.

I would suggest you check out www.meetup.com. They have a group for practically any interest and in just about every major city. I'll be going to my second event next week and I really like the concept of it, meet people with similar interests. You'll never know what could happen!

PS-People tell me all the time all of those cliches "you're so sweet" and "any guy would be lucky to have you!" and yeah, I'm still wondering why I'm single too!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 12:36pm
I must agree in that men like confident women. I too, am 29 single, never married. Since I have been dating the last few months it seems like every man I meet wants to get serious. I don't know what it is unless its because I am career/college oriented