Almost, but not quite
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| Mon, 11-27-2006 - 3:09pm |
im writing to see if anyone has experienced or experiencing this same issue...
im a young attractive woman with the entire world going for me, but i have a serious problem getting into relationships or getting anything past the just starting to date phase. what happens usually is i meet a guy, we hit it off, like each other, things are great, then he disappears or is skittish about committment. ive taken every approach possible and am now at a point where i will not accept anything less than the best for myself because thats what i deserve. However, it can be hard to maintain a good level of self esteem when i seem completely incapable of making a relationship happen or making a man want to committ to me. Also, all of my good friends are in long term relationships so i often feel like the odd woman out who can't get it together. ive been able to maintain a good level of happiness despite the lack of love in my life, but i am rather tired of dating and game playing. any insight out there?

I have hopefully, only temporarily, pulled myself out of the dating pool but I can tell you that I have some beautiful, successful, smart, fun girlfriends who have the very same experiences as yourself. They'll see a guy maybe once a week for a couple of weeks straight and then he falls off the face of the earth. I don't get it. I wish I had some answers for you! I hope that just knowing that there are plenty others out there like you, experiencing the same thing, dulls the sting a little!
One question, do you like the chase at all? I myself have been guilty of judging guys quickly just because they like me. I sometimes view a guy's interest as being clingy or needy, "too available". Do you do that? Maybe you aren't picking the right ones? I know that a couple of my girlfriends seem to only want the unavailable guys. The ones who don't call when they say and make hints at going out on dates but never deliver. We'll all go out to a bar and they'll see these a**holes and then take every opportunity to fawn all over them. Do you go for the bad boys? Of course, I don't know you. I am just tossing out possibilities ...
Well, good luck to you in your romantic endeavors! It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Fill your time with great friends, hobbies, interests and just try to enjoy the single life while it lasts. You know what they say, "The grass is always greener ... "
:O)
No, you are not alone. I just had the most recent attempt at a relationship end officially yesterday. We dated two months, and then he disappeared for 10 days. I finally contacted him to see what was up, and he said "he wasn't sure about me and he was taking time to figure out if there was a spark."
Well, I'm not waiting around for someone to decide if there's a spark. I deserve someone who KNOWS there's a spark and shows me that, and I told him so. It hurts a lot today, but I know it's the best thing to move on and, yes, try again.
He is the latest in a long string of short-term relationships that started off great and fizzled (or crashed and burned in some cases). I also feel like I must be doing something wrong, wonder what other women have that I don't, etc. I have a very healthy self esteem, but, man, this is wearing me thin.
The best advice I can give you is that there are a lot of men out there who just aren't ready or emotionally able to have a healthy relationship. Some men are ready - it just takes awhile longer to find them. When you do find one, it will make you that much more grateful for him. In the long run, those of us who struggle appreciate the gift more.
AJ, enjoying life with C.