already sick of this, i hate men

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
already sick of this, i hate men
4
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:14pm

Well, he called. And talked about himself for an hour. And while he listened to me, he never really asked how i was or anything. He went on and on about work and the books he's reading, bla bla bla. And I enjoyed the conversation, pushing away the thoughts of "my god, this guy really likes the sound of his own voice", i was wondering if he was going to get around to actually asking me out.

Well, after an hour I decided I should try to get to bed, so i told him I should get going and we talked a bit more. Then he said he'd call me when he could, but because he wasn't sure he'd have a job next week it may take him awhile to call me again. WHich, ok, understandable. But all I could think was "he's just not that into you." I mean, what does it take to spend an hour or two with a girl after work some night. Personally, I'd be so excited to spend time with a great guy i just met that i'd try my damndest to make them know i liked them.

So I said to him "ok, can i ask you straight out if you're interested?" and then he went on again about being busy with work and not wanting to get attached to anyone right now. And how he was a very independent person. And that just made me so angry, thinking "thanks, did you even bother to ask me if i'm independent, buddy? no, you've talked about yourself the whole time."
Anyway, I didn't get angry at him, I just listened (more) and then said "well, sounds like your busy so when you do call me, then i'll talk to you then. good luck with all the work stuff." and we politely said goodnight (though his was more of a slurry, sloppy goodbye) and I just started crying.

If this is what I have to look forward with dating men, then i really don't know if i have the emotional stamina.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:48am

I know it's difficult to find out that someone doesn't think you're as wonderful as you think you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:17am
I agree. Plus, it sounds like this guy isn't worth a second thought at this point. If all he wants to do is talk about himself, then it really doesn't matter how great you are. He'll never see past how great he thinks HE is. But someone will... just hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:00am
Thanks! I'm feeling better today- barely got any sleep last night, but woke up today realizing how happy i was that he called and i found out now that he's not worth my time and that he's full of himself- better to find out now than later!
And while I'm sick already of this dating thing, i'm sure i'll just continue to feel better as the days go on and i shant let this one jerk jade my perception of men in this town.
And heck, I'm going to concentrate on work right now. I also realized this morning that I've got a great job and i'm making a few great friends here, plus i've got my health and my birthday coming up, plus the holiday season which i love- so i've got things pretty good right now. It's time for me to concentrate on me- and I guess, in addition to all of this, he was a bit of a wakeup call that i need more time to get over my breakup.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:51pm

Men that are so self absorbed in conversation will be selfish in other aspects of life as well. Best to cut those loose.

Rubyshoes

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