Am I being fair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Am I being fair?
1
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 9:06pm

A couple of weeks ago I went out with a guy I met on an online site. Talking online was great I thought he was what I was looking for but when we actually met and went out
I wasn't overly impressed by him. He wanted to go out the following week which I gave a lame excuse why I couldn't and said I would call and didn't. I went out with him during a time at which I was casually involved with someone else, which at that point seemed to be leading in the right direction. That relationship came to an abrupt end last week, the very next day the online guy MSNed me and we started chatting. I like chatting to him online but get so nervous on the phone or in person. I don't even know if it is nerves or I just don't like talking to him in person. So now he wants to go out again...which I agreed to but now I am not so sure....But part of me wonders if I ever gave him a fair chance to begin with because in some ways my heart was set on this other guy. But now I don't know if I am giving the guy a fair chance because it's a time where the first relationship has ended and it also comes at a time where my very good friend has started to plan her wedding. I know that as happy I am for her I still feel a little sorry for myself that it's not me planning the wedding. It totally has nothing to do with needing a date for her wedding because it's not for a while, in case that's what anyone is thinking.

Is it fair for me to go out with this guy again? Should I even bother if he didn't really impress me the first time. I don't know if I am giving this a guy a "second chance" because I think he deserves one or because I don't want to be alone right now. Any words of advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: kheta13
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 10:12am

With people you meet online, the first meet just scratches the surface. I would give him a second chance IF: you felt any attraction whatsoever, you enjoyed the conversation, and you can picture yourself talking to this guy for an hour or more without wanting to poke your eye out. :)

He might have been nervous the first time you met him as well, and you might find you like him better the second time around.

As for being fair... it's only a second date. By accepting a second date, you are not agreeing to have the guy's children. If you don't like him after date #2, politely say goodbye and good luck. He'll get over it.

AJ, enjoying life with C.