Am I cheap? What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Am I cheap? What do you think?
Fri, 11-29-2013 - 6:04pm

I mentioned in another post, I'm hosting a party for a local professional origanization. This is how it came about. I was at a dinner with two other members of the group. They suggested we should plan for the cmas party.  The other two can't have it at their houses (new born, new house, to far) so I offered my house. I discussed this further with another member of the group after the meeting. He thought it might draw a large crowd, besides that, the party is going to be next week so to reduce stress on me, do it potluck style. The organizers, about 5 of us would provide hot food, the rest can bring easy things such as dip, chips, drinks, desserts, vegies, fruit.

Since my house is a mess, I'm having it professionally cleaned. It would be good as well since I want to list my house for sale and have family visiting for Christmas. Besides that, since my house is lacking furniture, I'm renting a couple of couches.

I mentioned this to a friend. (She was called me cheap. Why I'm a doctor and want to make a potluck, blah, blah, blah. If I don't have the place, the furniture, or the time then why bother? 

As it turns out, there will probably be less than 15 people. My sister in law said for me to just pay for everything. I'm starting to think it's OK. For 15 people I can just order from a restaurant.  What do you think, even though the others offer to help.





Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 11-30-2013 - 9:26am

We're having our Xmas party at one of the Dr's houses, there are 30 of us and it's going to be a potluck as well.  I have to make 30 deviled eggs Thursday night.  Luckily I have a friend with a deviled egg carrier and I have one so I'll have a way to transport them all, LOL.  I thought I was taking the easy way out but in the end, I think a casserole or dessert would have been much easier - not as much work and only one dish! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 11-30-2013 - 12:16pm

I don't think it's cheap to do potluck--you have to do the work of making sure your house is clean and probably decorate it some for the holiday.  Plus you offered to provide some food.  Since it's a professional organization I don't think that one person should be expected to provide all the food.  It would be different if you were having a family party or close friends but even then, people  usually offer to bring something.  

It can't be as bad as my office Xmas parties are--frankly I'd rather have my boss give me $20 extra and I'd go out for my own lunch & enjoy it more.  A couple of years ago, he did buy a lot of food but then he basically told the women staff who work in the office to cook some of the food (they are mostly Chinese and made some Chinese food, obviously, like dumplings and stuff like that)--well he didn't really get the point that forcing your employees to cook is not exactly the same as throwing a party for them.  In past years, he took everybody out to a restaurant and that was much better.  I think the office manager probably told him that they didn't enjoy the cooking so last year, I thinkhe just ordered lunch--he is both cheap and doesn't care about holidays, so that is a bad combination.  This week he went on vacation (alone) to the DR so he wouldn't have to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 11-30-2013 - 5:22pm
Our school party is at someone's house and it's pot luck. Most of our parties are that way. It's not cheap. It means you aren't independently wealthy! Fifteen people isn't much, but you didn't know that. It's still okay to have people bring food. The last I checked, we only had six people signed up to bring food, and I signed up twice! Our food selection could be slim pickins!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Mon, 12-02-2013 - 6:16pm

Hi Musiclover,

When the boss has a Christmas party, it's supposed to be an chance for him to treat people so if he wants people to contribute money or do the cooking then it's crass. I can see if he pays the money but just need people to help with picking up the food or oragnizing the event then it's different. For example, my boss is economical but not cheap. He doesn't want to spend 10's of thousands on an formal party for almost 300 people.  Besides in the hospital, with a 24/7 schedule if you have a party, there are always someone who are not able to attend b/c of the work schedule. He pays to order food from a restaurant and has it delivered to all the shifts so everyone, including the night shift get food.

The employees help out with decoration, receiving/storing the food, ect...which many don't mind doing.

Now, I've had time to think about my situation some more. I agree with many of you - that since this is not a party that I initiated. It's a party for an organization.  it can be done either way. Traditionally it's a potluck. I remembered two years ago, a certain member wanted to treat everyone so she spent much time and effort making a big feast. Other people didn't have to bring anything except a toy for her toy drive. The ones that wanted to bring something brought wine, desserts, vegie trays, chips, etc...I myself came with just a bottle of wine and a toy.

Last year was potluck but the host contributed more than others.

I suppose if I really wanted to trump everyone, to pay for everything but I don't think it's in poor form to have a potluck. some, like my SIL or the "friend" think  that if I want to network and socialize big then I could  make it free and that would encourage a large crowd and me being single never knew who I would meet especially when this is a doctor crowd.  But part of me just don't see dropping a couple of grands for it. We all know people who live large and have expensive shindigs but I just can't bring myself to do that.