am i crazy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
am i crazy?
37
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 2:18pm

Or does it seem that everyone out there who are potential "mates" are only interested in themselves. I will focus on the women because I am myself a guy who is single and who tries to meet women to date, be friends with, talk to, or maybe get serious with but I seem to run into so many unappealing people(emotionally and mentally not pyhsically). I look at the news and look at people everywhere(newpaper editorials, at work, at school, on the street, at the grocery store, at night clubs and parties-everywhere!) and I see so many self-invovled, greedy, idealistic people everywhere, and all the time. I judge this by the way they interact with me, other people, noticing how they carry themselves and how they seem to react to things. I am coming off as a grumpy person who has a dislike for people but Im not, I am really an open minded person who wants to like others and who wants to have a little faith in others but I find it impossible especially when it comes to women when I am trying to find someone to connect with even if it is only on a friendship level. I am becoming more and more disillisioned with other people especially the opposite sex.

Forgive me for sounding mean or like a grumpy SOB but I am just upset with people in general....

Let me know if you agree with or dont or think Im a crazy person lol....

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 3:23pm

Laziness is when they guy doesn't want to put forth the effort to actually date a girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
In reply to: antisexy
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:14pm

If someone doesnt want the responsibility of a relationship and are lazy in the way you said then why would you care about them? They are obviously a waste of your time.

Also...becuase I am a very stubborn and frustrating person(as most on the boards would probably agree with) I have to ask...if you COULD have your dream celebrity hunk-how could it not be as good as someone who's not your ideal type and fantasy man? Basically how can real guys ever match up to the Brad Pitt's? What is it that makes that better?

I mean even though men and women differ on how they think...women still do fantasize, but they dont fantasize about the average joe walking down the street, they fantasize about Vin, Brad, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, etc. etc.

If a fantasy is not as good as "reality", then why do you fantasize(I have never understood that)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: antisexy
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:38pm

Its like asking why men fantasize about Catherine Zeta Jones, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie or Shakira (though, hell, I fantasize about Shakira...she's HOT!).

Point is, fantasies are just that...fantasies. If everybody tries to live up to a fantasy, then what is real? I'd rather be real. And at one time, those men WERE your average Joe Blows. I would imagine that some of them still are in many respects and that society just warps our point of view of their "celebrity."

Aside from my Shakira girl-crush :P, my beau is the only person I fantasize about...he's all I need. Brad Pitts (eww by the way) of the world be damned, because my guy doesn't have to match up to a so-called fantasy hottie.

Ruby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
In reply to: antisexy
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:44pm

Well I hope someday a girl feels the way about me as you do about your man

I have never fantasized about celebs though I always fantasize about girls I know in real life...so I do understand about how you say what is real is what is really good but I have real problems though and they are all in my head....

Like if I meet a girl and then I hear about how she likes Colin Farrell or somebody then I feel like - "well I dont look anything like him, screw this"

P.S. thanks for replying and being helpful even though I am frustrating to most people

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:47pm

Why do I care?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: antisexy
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:54pm

You know what might be helpful? Perhaps a short stint with a cognitive behavioral therapist. Its usually short term and inexpensive compared to other therapies and it can help channel your thinking errors, help you change them which leads to change in your behavior. These types of problems you say you have can really be changed with a bit of this professional help. The cog-behaviorist can also help you build up your self-confidence and self-esteem by helping you realize your positive qualities and focus less on the negative.

I've been thinking about going myself for some of my own issues. You might find it helpful :).

Just a thought, hope I didnt offend you.

Ruby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
In reply to: antisexy
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 5:26am

No you are not offending me at all

I started posting on this site at the beginning of '05 and I admit I rubbed a lot of people on here the wrong way and after a month or so I entered a theraputic facility. Kind of like rehab but instead of being for substance abuse it is for emotionally distressed people or the psychologically troubled. I was there for the better part of 6 months and I am a better then I was a year and a half ago but I still have problems. But after 6 months I realized I was better, not completely but I was coming along. I felt I had made progress but I was still not ok and am still not but I was not going to be able to hide from the world inside that place forever and the only way to finish becoming mentally and emotionally healthier was to get back to everyday life and face it head on and deal with it...so thats what im doing now....

So I have taken your advice ruby and now Im trying to deal with things without a therapist which did help to a certain extent but now its up to me...and maybe advice form others on some things...but I am trying to not be such a headcase(which would relieve some people on this site who are tired of my whining Im sure)

I realize my problems and I am honest about myself, I just need to work out the weird anxieties I have in my head. Its something only I can deal with and fix and I will eventually I know it.

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