Am I Just Totally Bananas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Am I Just Totally Bananas?
41
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 6:54pm

Does anyone else ever feel depressed as a direct result of being single, dateless and alone?

Does anyone else feel completely comsumed with finding love, being in love, having someone to love and when you'll be loved again?

Has anyone here ever been in therapy because of this preoccupation with finding love?

Does anyone ever lose sleep at night, having crying bouts, difficulty concentrating or constantly worry about finding love?

Does anyone else have love and companionship on the brain constantly until it overshadows everything you do, think and feel? Do you spot couples everywhere and feel like everyone has someone but you?

Does anyone feel a huge void because of the lack of love in their life? If so, do you attempt to fill it with tons of activities, work, social things and new experiences in the hope of filling it, but the void remains?

Does anyone else feel like they have everything they want in life but love?

Or is this just me?

Am I completely bananas, or what???

(yes I realize I'm asking for all types of grief, but I couldn't keep that in much longer. Be gentle)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 4:33pm
When I was reading everyone's comments about suffering through the lonliness of single life I could totally relate. I am 25 and have had only one serious relationship that lasted a bit over a year. It ended last spring and it took me months to get over him. But once over him I began to despair because not only was I single and could not get a date, but I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I went to counseling, but did not like feeling that something was wrong with me. I did not want to be treated like a victim or a baby, so gave up on that. I tried really hard to be happy, lost a few pounds, and tried being as social as possible. Despite all of my effors to strike up conversations at parties or in random places, I could not get a guy to ask me out or even seem interested. To make matters worse all of my friends that I didn't see all summer had to ask me if I was seeing anyone and then brag about their boyfriends or recent hot dates. I got to the point where I didn't even want to go out any more because I would only end up coming home feeling terrible and crying myself to sleep. Any way, I decided that something had to change and I went to the nearest bookstore and found the self-help section. Yes, I know this is quite dorky, but I did end up buying a book that has really helped me get out of my self-pity. I bought a book called First Impressions, and it made me realize that there was a lot of room for improvement in the way I interected with others. Moreover, by focusing on my personal development I was able to stop stressing about being so lonely. While I still have not met a special guy or been asked out since I bought the book, I have noticed that by applying some of the strategies in the book I have strengthened some of my friendships and now feel much more confident in first conversations with others. Any way I am not trying to sell this book, but only want to suggest that maybe self-help books would help others on here to work on themselves and get their minds off of finding mr. right, or mr. anybody (as in my case). I think I have read every magazine and webpage article published in the past year on being single and getting a guy, but nothing has worked for me... I know how hard it is being alone, and wish everyone on here the best of luck in finding happiness for themselves that is not based upon ones relationship status.

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