Am I making this up??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Am I making this up??
8
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 5:10pm
Ok...I think someone here might have said this and it stuck with me or else I heard it on TV or it's some quote and I don't know who said it: Why can't one be a good girl and a bad girl? Why do they have to be mutually exclusive? Or something of the like. I like it! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 8:02pm

Ok, this is funny . . . .I have a whole long email going with someone about why girls like “bad boys” . . .LOL

I am a 46 year old man, and did after my devoice get very involved with a very wonderful woman. She found a time to move on . . . one of the “issues” she had was that I was to nice, to polite . . .did not bitch enough . . .

I don’t think this is “exactly” what you inferred . . . .LOL . . . but society being what it is . . . . I think we are not so far apart.

My ex . . .she said I did not bitch enough, and when I would raise my voice, I would come back and say I was sorry. I also prefer the company of woman to men . . . so at parties hung with her and the girls . . .not with the “boys”.

In her mind she saw “week” . . .”lap dog” and “clingy” . . .not her words . . .

I am a former Marine, I am capable of being anything but nice . . .LOL . . . I was nice to “her”, I loved her, what was I suppose to be . . . I did not bitch because she never made me want to . . . I said I was sorry because I meant it . . . . and hanging with the boys . . . been the better part of my life. Women are fascinating to me now.

I am guessing someone has come down on you for . . . . . . being open to desire . . . . . in private moments?

If . . .. . if . . . I am right . . .the heck with him. How many people are “bored” in that department because they lack the very thing love should bring . . .trust with you most “interment” self? Wrong guy is all. Blow it off and move on. (-:

Or . . . . .were you just making a point . . . . .LOL

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 10:50pm
Okay, I've met few true good girls. Most of them indulge in bad girl activity from time to time or they have skeletons in their closets. Aren't we all a little bit of both?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 11:20pm

Well exactly, that's what I like about it. Not bad as in screw everyone, hurt people, hating the world, self-destructive bad girl. Just having a backbone, standing up for oneself, breaking rules not simply to break rules, but because you want to...well, I know what I mean, anyway. :)

I like that in a guy, too. One who's generally a good human being, doesn't screw over everyone/woman he sees, genuinely cares about other people, but is "bad" enough to be interesting. I know I'm going to get crap for this, but I really don't like "bad boys," to me niceness and kind deeds is a turn-on, but if a guy (or girl) is perfect, it's just boring.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 1:15am
I hear ya!! Everyone is so freaking politically correct these days. I was watching Fox news or similar earlier this week and they had a panel who were discussing Rosie and why she is so riveting. What they came up with is, that she's real. Period. She's real. People aren't real anymore it seems. They try to conform into what they think society is interested in and they are most times way off mark. Don't you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:19am
She's a good example, yeah, you're right. Not these idiots in Hollywood who run around being "badass," drinking until they can't see every night (because, well, everyone has those night every once in a while, haha) and treating love/marriage/the opposite sex like they're completely disposable and change them as often as they change their haircolor. How is that being a "bad girl" when you're being just like every single other person around you?? That's always the problem I had with that sort of thing. I didn't drink like a fish (though I did still drink) in college because I didn't feel like it, and if that made me different then so freaking be it. THAT to me is having a little bit of a badass in oneself, not giving a damn what anyone else (well, save for close friends and family I suppose) says, does, or thinks (and I would think Rosie definitely fits that definition!). Of course I've also had the slightly bad habit of doing things JUST to be different...but it usually doesn't do me too much damage. :)
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:54am

I think the best way to be original is to be yourself.

I want to add that I don't agree with all of Rosie's views, but I do think she's unedited. There are probably one or two folks who wish she would edit herself on occasion however.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:07pm

The thing is ... they DON'T have to be mutually exclusive. And they usually aren't. And most folks would be incredibly BORING if they were only good or bad. (Which leads me to thinking about that whole madonna/whore thing -- you're either "a good girl" or you're a whore. Noooo, don't think so!)

There's a comic strip called 'Rose is Rose'. (I think that's the title.) The title character (Rose, of course) is a wife & mom -- nicely average person. However, inside she has a long-haired, leather mini-skirt & leather jacket wearing biker chick who comes out on occasion when she feels the need to be assertive or when eating rattlesnake meat.

There's also a comic strip called '9 Chickweed Lane'. The mom is a college professor/farm owner/single mom who is also hot looking. Inside she has an alter ego who dresses like Jane from the Tarzan movies & is wild & free & swings from vines. Her daughter is a ballet dancer who has an interior alter ego called 'Superlative Girl' who has all sorts of wonderful mental adventures.

My point? What's the fun in being all good or all bad? Precious gems look their best when MULTI-faceted & polished. Ditto for human beings -- me, I prefer myself to be an emerald cut & set in platinum.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:40pm

Ok . . . .just a guy again . . . the old saying . . . adjusted slightly . . . .a bit of a lady/gentleman when the bed room door is open . . . whore when closed.

Over simplified . . . we all need to challenge life now and then . . but challenging each other often does get lost in the PC view of love . . . . and . . .I am a one woman man . . . pretty normal stiff in this . . .but “normal” seems to be defined differently for girls sometimes . . not so fair.

Love should open doors . . not close them . . . just a thought.