Am I missing something here?
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Am I missing something here?
| Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:08am |
One of my old friends posted something similar on his web page.
Am I missing something here? Family? Marriage? Kids? Religion?
I feel empty. Granted, I (Michelle speaking here) have no religious beliefs. I'm a confirmed atheist, although I don't mind and accept if others have beliefs. Hey - whatever works for you, you know?
But I feel like I have this gaping hole in my soul. And I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Is it marriage? I dunno. I've never been much for the idea of marriage. Kids? Uh - I don't know about that either. I sort of like my free time and disposable salary.
What IS this gaping hole? I wish I could figure it out.
/edited because I've had one too many margaritas tonight!!
Edited 5/31/2007 12:10 am ET by emdeesea

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When I got divorced 7 yrs ago when I was 46, I walked away from a $500,000 plus a pile of cash and my children. I did not even take the furniture for I knew that money and possessions were more important to my wife. Then I lost my job and could not find work for 4 yrs despite my dual graduate degrees from Carnegie Mellon and Rutgers.
I put myself "out there" to date. Here I am unemployed, living in a 2 bedroom apartment as a middle aged guy. I answered online ads that required responses for men who were gainfully employed and had a house. I did find partners despite all that. I know there are "shoulds" in life where I should be at my age. I should be looking at retirement rather than looking at just making mortgage payments. I am truly blessed to have a townhouse now (thanks for my younger bachelor brother) so I "own." I am now working at a great non-profit company whose values coincide my own. I am making great money.
I worked on being grateful for where I am, who I am all throughout my challenges in life. I am physically healthy and my children are too and happy to boot.
I have had partners who loved me for who I am and not what I have in material items. I have had friends who held my hand during my low points and dark doubts. I know as I continue to work on myself that the right woman would recognize that and love me for who I am.
I see that in my older brother who lost everything and filed for personal bankruptcy by trying to make his second business viable. He has graduate degrees from USC and Boston University as well as dual degrees from MIT. He was living in an apartment by himself until he met his finace and now is very happy. This will be his third marriage with a daughter one year older than my 14 yr old daughter. There is hope and there is love.
Love you man,
Mark
I walked away from everything in my marriage too, took all the debt with me . . .did it for two reasons . . one I was tired after 18 years in a bad place. I did not want a war.
Two . . I knew it was going to be difficult regarding money for each of us. As it is she has a house that is worth far more than when we bought it . . .and a "way out" if it gets to hard.
I don't like my ex much . . . but she is the mother of my kids . . .sometimes the right thing is not the smart or easy thing.
I did not have as far to fall .. LOL our total assets with the home might have been 300K then, . . . I took nearly 140K in debt with me . . .
Of course the "boom" in the housing market was a surprise. Nothing, and I mean nothing worth living in cost under 300K in Miami. And that is a small town house. My old hose, 2600 sq feet, we bought it for 104K in 96 . . .it is worth over 400K today . . close to five . . and it is not a "great" area . . . it is a little scary thinking of how I will ever find my way back in. I am sure I will work it out . . but the math got "bigger" somehow in the last 6 years. (-: I have no collage . .. but sales is the next best thing . .. I am in the right place for me, and can break the low six figure mark over time . . . a little smart investing and savings . . it will come back around.
I try hard not to think about the "big" stuff. I focus on work. The "solution" is the day to day grind at work . . that gets results, results bring money . . .(-: The small things bring it around.
As far a relationships . . .hmm . .. in Miami there are a fair number of woman who would not hang with me . . . wrong place in life, all that. Who cares. A lot would love to be with me. Plenty share this kind of experience and would love to recover with a positive guy. I don't worry about that part at all. Other than where to meet people . ..LOL It is a little different at 46 than it was at 25 . . . (-:
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