Am I old??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Am I old??
17
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:44am

Ok. This ties in with Shy's self-esteem post. I had replied to that yesterday, saying I don't let others' opinions of me affect my self esteem...

Then, I went to the gym last night -- a place where I usually feel great about myself, energized and sexy. One of the personal trainers came up to chat with me about getting a free assessment done. He then said, "You're about my age, right? 34?"

I'm 31, and his comment sort of crushed me because people generally guess younger than they think you look. I thought: Do I really look like I'm in my mid- to late 30s?!? Ugh.

It took me all night to get over the blue mood that one comment caused. I have been struggling a lot lately with accepting my age and not getting too hung up on the "I'm-31-and-never-married" attitude. I'm starting to feel like it's getting late for me. I hate admitting that, because I know it's not necessarily too late, but we all have our irrational sides.

Isn't it amazing how the one issue that bothers each of us (age, weight, looks, etc.) seems to be the issue that comes up from external sources all the time? It's like a test every time someone makes a comment like that.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:04am
Your still a pup. Don't take what he said seriuosly, it is so hard to tell someone's age these days. I am 29, but people tell me I look like I'm 22. I want to attract someone my own age, but I think some ladies think I'm too young. Age doesn't even matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:12am

Thanks. I know in my heart that age doesn't matter, but your mind can run wild. I kept thinking, "well, geez, if men who want children think I'm 35+, they might think I'm too old to start a family." Stupid biological clock is messing with me. ;)

My mom has a Mark Twain quote framed in her bathroom that I love: "Age is a matter of the mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

I need to start repeating that every day, I think.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:15am
Amen to that. I believe the trick is to renew our mind daily. I believe there is a lot of deception and lies out there. Love is the cure.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:16am

First of all, 34 isn't "mid to late" it's "early to mid".

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:18am
I think you are intelligent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:25am
I am horrible with guessing age. I recently went to the dentist, and I thought the dental assistant was cute ans weet, I wanted to ask her out. I got to talking with her and found ou she graduated high school last year. Which means she was probaly 19 or 20, I thought she was around 25 or 26. I haave a good 10 years on her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:34am
LOL. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:37am
I was hoping it would make you smile :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:50am

>>I think that our weaknesses are the things that external sources hurt the most. One time years ago, I was shopping for a dress. The woman at the store said "you're what, a 16? 18?" I was a 14 at the time, and you can bet my gut reaction was to let her know I was unhappy with her assessment! <<

Oh, that's the worst. People need to learn when to keep their mouths shut.

You should have pulled out the age comment on her -- "and, you're what? 83?"

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 2:31pm

well he only thought you were 3 years older than you really are...plus he said he thought you were around his age, which you are. do 31 yr olds and 34 yr olds really look that different? I've never noticed.

I agree about the feeling old thing...i'm going to be 28 this month and i'm single. Never thought I would be at this age and I cant say that I like it...I've tried...but I really dont like being alone. I dont care if it sounds pathetic...I sometimes feel that i'll never find the one.

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