Am i overthinking or is he Freeloading?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Am i overthinking or is he Freeloading?
11
Tue, 01-01-2013 - 11:16pm

I have been talking to this guy for 2 months now. He told me right away that he made some mistakes and had to do some jail time but now he's working towards getting his life back together and becoming a better person. So far, so good. He has been working doing jobs for a friend and he just recently stared working a second job for a restaurant. One job he gets paid under the table so the pay is large but unpredictable. Now, i have 2 issues. The 1st is that the last time he came over to my place, he brought over some beer for me. When he left, he went into my fridge and took the remaining beers home with him. Huh? The 2nd was yesterday night when he invited me over for new years eve. He was supposed to join me and some friends but then he called to say that he was still broke and felt too bad to go out without money so he rather stay in. When i was ready to head to his place, he texted me and asked if i could pick up "some booze" on my way over (which i didn't do because i'm broke myself). I don't get how he felt bad not wanting to go out without money yet he didn't feel bad asking a single mom that he's been talking to for a few weeks to bring him booze. I like him but when he did those 2 things, i felt like it was kinda weird. I know that he's still working towards getting back on his feet because he was locked up not too long ago so i'm wondering if i should just be more understanding and wait to see if things improve or if he's just freeloading. Does anyone else find this strange... What do you think about his actions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 10:05am

I think you need to look for a better class of BF.  I mean a lot of people are struggling in a bad economy.  I would have sympathy for a guy who say, got laid off and had to take a lower paying job and is trying to support his kids, or something like that--doesn't necessarily mean that I want to have that guy as a BF though.  Honestly, I am in a position where I have a job but I also struggle to make ends meet.  I am not looking for a rich guy (although I wouldn't mind) but I don't want to be supporting anyone either, so it would be a basic requirement for me to go out with someone that he be able to support himself in whatever kind of job he has.  I don't really think it's that bad that the guy bought his beer and wanted to take the extras home--he did pay for them.  But it's kind of rude for him to say that he didn't have money to go out but ask you to bring booze over to his house.  The classy thing to do would be for him just to say that he didn't have money and leave it at that & see if you offered to do anything.  If I were you, I would have said "that's too bad.  I'll be going out with my friends then."  Or he should have offered to make you some dinner if he was asking you to cancel fun plans and just hang out in his house.

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