Am I pathetic?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Am I pathetic?
3
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 8:19pm
I'm 21 years old and I have never had a boyfriend or been kissed. I'm attractive, easy going, intelligent, and an all around nice person. I can be mildly shy sometimes but a lot of the population is. I’ve been told I have an innocent and sweet demeanor about me. I've only been on one date (it was about 4 month ago). So anyways, is this normal? Do you think it’s my personality or something else? I feel kind of alone. Has anyone had a similar situation or any thoughts? I’m also worried that if and when I actually do start dating that guys will judge me for it. Do you think that’s true?
Thanks,
Marie
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: marie159
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 11:24pm

Honestly?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
In reply to: marie159
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 11:33pm

No you are not pathetic. I am 30, and I have never been in a serious relationship. But so what. That doesn't always have to be the case. Things and people change everyday. One thing I am doing is examining why my life is this way. What have I been doing to block some of my blessings, and to keep me single. A male friend of mine told me I am not approachable. I examined that and in many ways he is right. I can be hyper serious, even my demeanor in public is serious. I am also too nice to guys. Men love b#tches. They love a woman who is like " you would want to get with this." My attitude thus far has been "Thank you for tolerating me, let me be ultra nice to make up for it." So, take an honest look at what you can change. But do not get desperate!!! Men can smell desperation, and you might end up with a real jerk who will try to take advantage of you. Stick to your guns, the right man will come along. Think about internet dating (stay safe), and changing your social routine. I was also horrible at flirting, then I started to read up on how to flirt, and I practice when i am out. Baby steps...... I am still working on it, but just making eye contact makes the difference. And as far as the first guy. Well, just don't tell him. Its none of his business. It's your past and your life, only share what you want to share. The only time I think people need to share is when they have a disease that the other person can catch.

So, shake off those blues and get out there! You are young and your life is waiting!
Good luck on your journey.
Bittersweet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: marie159
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 12:20am
Hi Marie. If you think you are pathetic, I am 24, a guy, and have never been on a date. When I was younger, I was unwilling to try, but my attitude changed. Recently I asked a girl out and she rejected me. I was asking someone out of my league, so now that I failed, I decided that I should do something and become a fun, hot sexy guy, so that in the future girls would at least look at me and give me a chance. Terms like "fun hot sexy" may sound superficial, but using your hot sexy nature as a first step toward building a relationship, in my opinion, is not superficial. So I agree with Bittersweet, examine youself, but I am not as enthusiastic about her claim that men love bitches. (Ouch!) I am still quite disappointed about the rejection, because she is so good, but the best thing for me to do now is to examine myself.