am I too picky or is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
am I too picky or is this normal?
17
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 7:42pm

I don't know why but I'm stuck on a particlar type of man and am not interested in dating men who fall outside of the following categories:

1-clean cut
2-non-white collar
3-tall and lanky
4-boyish looking and looks young for his age (I date mid to late 20's)
5-blonde hair blue/green/grey eyed

Am I being picky or is it normal to have these kinds of odd standards? I am fixated on this type only and can't feel physical attraction for any other type lately which makes finding someone I'm attracted to difficult. My prior boyfriends have all fit most of these categories. I used to think men were vain but I think I am the vain one and was wondering if there's other women out there who are as picky, and what they've done to stop being this way.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 3:04am

ising101,

All my friends say that I am picky, and that is a good thing. All of the guys I have dated fit a certain category( Tall, dark, clean cut, muscular, educated, slanted eyes with a chisled, batman face..you know the Richard Gere and Tyson Beckford {the model} types oooh!!!)
Anyway,
That is fine and normal. We ALL have types and preferences about the opposite sex. My friend will only date short guys, me they have to be tall and with a little meat on their bones. I mean to be realistic, you date who you are attracted to, and that is fine. I wouldnt really say that you are being picky. Picky is when you are like, well he has to be 6'4 exactly, work at the bank, and drive a big red truck, and he must love chocolate icecream. Now, that is picky...

I will say that it kinda gets out of hand when you just turn down anyone who is not your exact preference. I always keep my eyes open and will date out of my preference sometimes, even if I am not physically attracted to them..Try it sometimes,....your preference may change a little. Dont exclude everyone, just because, sometimes you can learn things from others...

However, you are simply attracted to a certain type of guy and yes that is normal. Everyone has there thing that attracts them to the other person, some men like skinny women who look grown, other men love bigger women with a cute baby face, short, tall, shaggy, clean cut, professional, free spirited, messy, really clean...we all have our thing...and please, dont let anyone talk you out of what you want or what makes YOU happy...It is YOUR life!!!!

Proud to have a good preference,

Blessed12005

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 3:15am

Hello! Ising,

I am glad you have specific type of guy in your mind. There is a lot of gals out there who does not know what they want and they are not happy. Like , they have attracted guys who are married and they are in misery because they have to share a guy with someone else.

So, I think you are in a pretty good position. Be specific and you can attract the type of guys you want in your life.

Like,

1) Single
2) Have a sense of humour
3) Good natured
4) Loves me very much
5) Handsome (in my eyes)
6) Financially stable

Well...the above is my type of guy i want to attract.

If you find that you are not happy with your choice at all, sit down and think through what kind of guy do you want in your life,change your criteria and go out to meet people.
And i believed in no time at all, you will attract the type of guy in your life.

And , BE specfic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 3:44am

Hi ising101,

IMO: There is nothing wrong with having strict physical criteria. Problems will arise if you are so obsessed by them that you ignore personality traits that are destructive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 2:07pm

I agree with Blessed and yet I might just fall into the TOO picky category by her standards! :(

Initially I'm a:
1-clean cut but can look good with some gruff! :)
2-white collar - respectable job
3-tall and manly - fit but doesn't live in the gym
4- likes sex but isn't a FREAK
5-dark hair, non pale skin, 2 eyebrows, no nose hairs or ear hairs growing out all over the place, normal size nose and ears, nice teeth... etc. etc.

I have alot of picky standards... but YOURS tend to be alittle more realistic than mine! ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 4:50pm
YOU ARE NOT BEING PICKY OR VAIN!! DO NOT lower your standards! That person is out there and will be in your life shortly! Good Luck and I know you will get what you want and DESERVE very soon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 7:14pm
Whew, I'm glad I'm not alone with my particulars. I have to admit I will put up with more bs from a guy who fits my physical standards perfectly than one who doesn't and I think that comes down to animal attraction. That was the case with the last guy I dated. Now my mission is to find someone who I'm attracted to and who treats me right. Wish me luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 8:48pm
Hey there! I thought it was just me, but I'm the exact same way. I'm very picky. I just have to have a certain type of guy with the looks and personality I'm looking for. My last ex-boyfriend was "exactly" what I wanted. He was tall, very nice lean build physic, green/hazel eyes, and he was mexican He had a great personality too, he wsa very focused, street smart and very charismatic which was very sexy nexts to his sexy looks. I'm very attracted to tall mexican, cuban, latin guys that have a nice lean build with preferably blue, green, or hazel, eyes. But I haven't stopped being so picky. Its hard because thats all I'm attracted to. I'm so picky that I sometimes think that I'll never find anyone. I'm 25 and single. I'm tired of being single. Maybe I'd have someone if I wasn't so picky. But I can't help it. So let me tell ya, you're not alone. Since you are so pcky I hope the exact guy you're looking for comes along and sweeps you off your feet.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 11:29pm

I think that everyone has their personal preferences and that's okay.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 11:35pm

Now this is a problem:


I have to admit I will put up with more bs from a guy who fits my physical standards perfectly than one who doesn't


Having high standards is one thing, but ignoring personality traits that are annoying, undesirable, violent, or just plain bad is really what I'd call shallow.


It's fine to look for a particular kind of guy, but don't put up with any crap- no matter what the guy looks like.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 12:25am

I hear ya feelingratherlost!!!!

Proud to be picky, but not vain!!!!!!!
You like what you like and want what you want!!!

Pages