Am I weird??
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Am I weird??
| Tue, 09-05-2006 - 10:10am |
Good day all!!
I've been fine with being single for the past 9 months. I tried out a relationship, a long distance relationship; however, it just didn't work out. So, after a brief three month "relationship", I'm back to being a single woman. Here's the thing: I've been dating and talking to a few guys. It's been kinda fun, though I'm not really into casual dating. Here's the kicker: one guy said to me: "so...why aren't you married? You're gorgeous, successful, and have a great personality..so, how could you not be married?" Needless to say, I was stumped. I was flattered and a bit embarrassed at the same time. I guess my question is this: is there something weird about a 27 year old woman with good qualities being completely single, without any prospects?? I know that the guy wasn't trying to be insulting. He was just asking a question that he felt was valid. Why aren't I married, or even close to it?? Maybe it's something I'm doing wrong. I haven't been in many relationships; however, none of them lasted. Of the few guys that I've been "seeing", I can't really picture myself with any of them long term. Maybe my standards are too high; I don't know.
Has any one out there ever questioned this before? Anyone ever ask you this question, as though you're an alien from another planet??
I've been fine with being single for the past 9 months. I tried out a relationship, a long distance relationship; however, it just didn't work out. So, after a brief three month "relationship", I'm back to being a single woman. Here's the thing: I've been dating and talking to a few guys. It's been kinda fun, though I'm not really into casual dating. Here's the kicker: one guy said to me: "so...why aren't you married? You're gorgeous, successful, and have a great personality..so, how could you not be married?" Needless to say, I was stumped. I was flattered and a bit embarrassed at the same time. I guess my question is this: is there something weird about a 27 year old woman with good qualities being completely single, without any prospects?? I know that the guy wasn't trying to be insulting. He was just asking a question that he felt was valid. Why aren't I married, or even close to it?? Maybe it's something I'm doing wrong. I haven't been in many relationships; however, none of them lasted. Of the few guys that I've been "seeing", I can't really picture myself with any of them long term. Maybe my standards are too high; I don't know.
Has any one out there ever questioned this before? Anyone ever ask you this question, as though you're an alien from another planet??

I think we've al been asked this question at least 3 times. I know I hear it all the time and it has forced me to take a look at my dating history, actions and options. I can't pinpoint any one thing that has kept me from finding a great match but dozens of variable situations that have kept from me it.
No, there isn't anything werid with being 27 (28 for me), single or not having any dating prospects but when you are attractive, successful and intelligent, people sort of assume that you should have men beating down your door. It just isn't reality. I try not to worry about it much. Though I have to admit, I worry about it all the time.
UGH. The "why aren't you married?" question is a loaded one, in my experience. I've had people ask me this as well, and I found it flattering at first. Then, I realized a lot of guys ask it to figure out what's "wrong" with you.
There's nothing wrong with you. You're not weird. It's a fact of life that many people get married later these days because of school, career, etc - not to mention relationships that don't work out. There are a ton of us out there who are still single - yet are still great catches.
This question now strikes me as incredibly rude - and it's really not the business of a stranger why you're not married.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
So I question the premise that people need to be married in order to be "complete." I also question that you need to be good looking, have a great personality, or successful to be marriage material.
Mark
I get this question all the time too. For one thing i think 28 is still quite young to be married (i am 23 right now and i cam inagine by 28 i'll be finishing up law school, studying for the bar exam and hopefully either articling at a law firm or starting my first year as a full on lawyer). I am in no rush to get married at all and i don't feel the need go out and find some guy to marry just because all of my friends are doing it.
I am a successful, confident, attractive, funny, nice, sweet female and i have to say that i am definately NOT beating them off with a broom handle. I am lucky if i get a guy to look at me (no one can figure it out and they chalk it up to me being intimidating). Most of the guys that ahve shown some sort of interest in me aren't my type (and really they aren't, they are usually really creepy guys with drugs problems or guys that have no tact when it coems to talking to me). I am better then that and i'll wait it out to find the one that is best for me.
That isn't to say that i don't feel bad sometimes when seem like men aren't interested in me. It does bother me that i haven't had any date proposals for a decent guy let alone marriage proposals :P.
I'm 28 and the same way, I've had guys ask me why I'm not married, etc., but I'm picky. I know I am, I don't have unrealistic or very high standards, and I'm not really into casual dating either. I'm ready to meet that person to settle down with and have a serious, committed relationship. So when people ask me that, I simply tell them that I haven't met anyone that strikes my fancy. And it's true. I've dated a few guys here and there, but it's never turned into anything serious, it gets me bummed out sometimes, but then I look at all of my other friends, in dead end relationships or jumping from guy to guy, and frankly, I'd rather be single!
Don't worry about it, and just be glad you're not out there with a bunch of losers.