amount of contact?
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amount of contact?
| Tue, 07-11-2006 - 9:45am |
Let's say you've been seeing a guy for about 2 weeks. He tells you he likes you, things seem good when you're together, but on the phone he seems sort of distant and says he's not a phone person. How often should you expect to hear from him? If he really likes you, do you expect daily contact this soon (let's say he has your e-mail address or could text message you). Or is it normal to not have daily contact with someoen you've only known a few weeks? I cant decide...

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Hmm...that's pretty bizarre! I would write back something like, "hmm, well, you should have called and *asked* me to go if you wanted me there ;-)!!!" (complete with the wink to keep it lighthearted, yet get the message across that if he wants to see you, he needs to call and ask you out).
Sheri
Oh oh, I was in a similar situation a few years ago with a guy. He met me out one night and took my number, was texting me from day one and threw in the occasional phonecall too. Always said he wanted to meet me for a date but whenever I suggested a day, he said he was too busy. He kept saying he had a lot on planning his best man's speech at his mate's wedding and also with work yet time and time again would ask me out. Then he started phoning me when he had his mates round for a game of cards or was down the pub with his dad so I started saying that when he said he was busy, he obviously meant just for me as he had plenty of time for everyone else. I used to bump into him when I was out with friends and still he kept saying he wanted to take me out. Eventually I called him on it and said not to bother, he had wasted enough of my time and he obviously didnt want to go out with me otherwise something would have been arranged now. He pulled the shy card on me, said his ex had completely messed him about so I said I couldnt be held responsible for that and if that was what was stopping him, then he could forget it.
We are still in touch now and the fact I have a boyfriend bothers him but I gave him enough chances to take me out, even did the asking and organising myself but to no avail. He was emotinally unavailable to me and a guy well worth avoiding on that score.
Molly311,
You're right, dating should not be this difficult. I think you need to relegate him to the 'too hard' basket. I just read a post to you on another board where someone said that he is trying to see if you're reciprocating and you're not and you want him to do it all. That is total BS. If you did anything more than what you are doing, you would be throwing yourself at him which is exactly what he wants and I'm proud of you for not playing his game. Why should you have to call him all the time? Why should you be the one to always initiate contact? From what I can recall from your posts, you were the last one to ask him out and he gracefully declined. I’ve heard you mentioned a few times that you have a lot of fun when you’re together but so what? It’s how you feel when you’re not together that you should be focusing on. I think it’s disrespectful for him to call you at 2am and even then, he can’t make firm plans. Unless you’re in a committed relationship, a man needs to ask you out in advance. Basically, you’ll be waiting for the phone to ring tonight to see if he will be available. I was all for him at the start and encouraged you to keep on seeing him but I think his behaviour has shown that he’s not worthy of your time. I am done with this guy and I hope you are as well.
Feisty
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