Another texting/picture hungry bf bites the dust

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Another texting/picture hungry bf bites the dust
2
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 10:53pm

What's with these people. are they scammers, teenagers, or something?

Another guy wrote some brief messages to me on OK cupid today. I should have made a strict policy to not respond to men who don't write a proper intro. The guy didn't introduce himself. wrote "how r u", "what do you do", "let's text chat" "send me more pictures". But being desparate I went along until the doochebag asked for more pics. B/c of my experience with the scammer Italian mining engineer, I asked him to send me some first. So he sent a total of six pics. One from the dating website, with a woman. One a headshot of just himself, and four of him bicycling. Three of the biking ones have a copyright print on it. Is he another scammer?

I told him after I got his pics that I don't send pics. End of our love story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Mon, 11-11-2013 - 11:56am

Hi Musiclover,

I seem to be getting a lot of the texting type lately. With the exception of two guys, everyone suggested we text. There is one that I'm still corresponding with now. Talked for the first time yesterday. He gave me his number and asked to text. I just called him instead. We had a good conversation. I told him I don't type well on the phone and I'd like to meet after talking a few times on the phone. He suggested we keep in touch next week for a meeting. In the mean time, we are emailing through our own email.

The one last night though. I really should make it a strict policy not to talk to men who don't write a proper introduction. The doochebag kept writing in short sentences without even introducing himself. Even say we should meet (in jest since we were joking back and forth about fate getting us together). Then I said should I know your name first. After that launched right into "what do you do", I do xxx. That's OK I suppose if you're going to ask an question in the category of an interview then you should volunteer your info first. Then asked for more pics from me. I only have a faceshot on my profile and describe my body as slender. To me that's good enough.

One time I got a guy that was like that but even worse. Interogated me short one question emails, intrusive about what I do, where I work, etc...Acted like he was a biliionaire handsome bachelor interviewing for the job of gf. Well, even if he was one, I wouldn't put up with it, in this case he was below me in every sense, and that includes etiquette. I did put up with it. We had a phone call and he got into interrogation mode. I now took the role of the aggressor and asked him really intrusive questions about how much he makes, when he bought his house, make an exclamation when he told me he bought it in 2006, boy are you under water.

I had another guy. This one seemed nice and more polite by email. We got to talking on the phone. He got into interrogation mode asking where I work. I asked him the same thing and he sounded annoyed. So it's OK to ask me  personal information b/c I'm a doctor but it's not OK to get personal with them. I find that rude. What nerves, who do they think they are. I'm the one who is dating down and I don't get nosy right away. I would not ask direct questions unless they ask first then I responded with "and you?".

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 11-11-2013 - 10:36am

I have never really had the experience of a man asking me for more pics.  I have 4 pics on my profile anyway, so why would they ask for MORE?  If you already have a pic on there, I'd just tell them you don't have any more to send them.  End of story.  I assume that your picture actually looks like you do now.  The only experience or reason that I could think of for asking for pics would be if the person had no pics at all because then you have no idea.  but if both of you already have pics there, why do either one of you need more?  So just start telling them no.  You can also weed out a lot of scammers/jerks by telling them you don't chat by text, you don't yahoo chat, etc.  I just can't be bothered.  You can exchange a few emails to find out basic stuff and then arrange a meeting--if not, tell them not to waste your time--you are too busy I'm sure with your career to be spending a lot of time texting or IMing and you aren't there to get a pen pal--you want to meet someone in person.