Approaching her

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Approaching her
10
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 4:34am

I'll try to keep this short and sweet....

There is a girl I work with who I would like to ask out or talk to or be friends with...something, I just want to get to know her better and I have a hard time approaching girls...especially really really attractive ones like her. I dont know what to say I dont know what to do...All I can think of is "Hi nice to meet you......my favorite color is blue and I like walks on the beach" lol

This isnt just for her but for the future as well...how do I approach women?...I know make eye contact and smile...that stuff I got but then when I actually go up to them what do I say? Something that doesnt make me seem lame or boring or stupid like I think I always sound...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:22am
"Hey. What are you doing for lunch?"
I know guys who claim they're very shy but they can atleast ask that simple question.
Lunch is lunch. You're not really asking for a date. It's just lunch and conversation and you take it from there. If you can get pass the hello and how are you, then she should know your face enough and that should give you the motivation to just go up there and ask her for lunch.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:41am

Whatever you say to her, I'm sure she'll be flattered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 12:33pm
LOL! Don't just admire from afar.
That's all many of them seem to do these days.
You guys need to know that sometimes the one you admire from afar is probably hoping you'd step it up atleast. Take a chance. I'm sure you'd be surprised.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:24pm

I agree with what the others wrote but basically next time you see her don't just say "hi" and walk away ... stay and ask "what's going on? how are things in... accounting?" (or whatever department she works in) or say "I've been wanting to talk to you and haven't had a chance until now" "I'm Antisexy (don't say that - say your real name :p )... and I wanted to officially introduce myself" "how's work?" "how's life" shoot... I guess this stuff has always been the easy part for me and it's hard for me to break it down - I just always feel out the person and then go from there... "I like your top - where'd ya get it" ... don't be afraid to talk to someone - they are just as human as you are... and you'll be able to tell ALOT about that person by the first convo - whether you'll even want to talk to them again. So... DO IT! :)

I don't mean to downplay your nervousness - I know it's nerveracking but... practice, practice, practice - so eventually it's not so hard! ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:47pm
I am always nervous with attractive girls, I dont know why. But when I get a good chance I will go up to her and ...do something lol. So I'll just suck it up and take a chance and if I make a fool of myself...I dont work in the same dept. as her so it's all good lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:10pm

You won't make a fool of yourself. Others have given good advice. I just want to reiterate, don't admire from afar! My sister happened to run into a guy who I worked with a long time ago and he told her he had a big crush on me way back when. Well, he never communicated his feelings to me in any way, never even spoke to me, so I had absolutely no idea. Who knows what would have happened if he'd taken the risk to just strike up a conversation? :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:09pm

I agree with this approach from lost. Get to know her a little bit by starting some ice-breaking conversation and then lead into the lunch date. I know everyone is different, but would gather that most women don't like to feel caught off guard. If a guy I knew little about came up to me and just asked me out, my first intinct would be to get away from the situation. So warm her up her up then go for the kill. This works a lot with other situations involving women :)

AND....just be yourself and genuine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:54pm
Just say "hi" and take it from there. How would you get to know a guy who seemed like someone you'd want to be friends with? Well, treat her the same way. To be honest, I don't understand why so many guys seem PETRIFIED when they are about to talk to an "attractive" girl but it seems to be a recurring theme among men. Just remember, she's only human too, and has her own flaws, imperfections, etc...she is NOT perfect just b/c she looks good on the outside. Remind yourself she's just a human like you and hopefully that will take away the anxiety. And also, in the case she's NOT friendly (which is probably very unlikely) just remember anyone who would be mean to someone who is honestly just being friendly (ie saying "hi" NOT a pick up line") is not a very nice person...so if she reacts that way, she was nothing special in the first place! ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
In reply to: antisexy
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 12:37pm

"This works a lot with other situations involving women :)"

HAHAHA - SO TRUE!!! Love it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
In reply to: antisexy
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 4:51am
Well this entire thing with this girl went to complete @#%$!!!