Approaching relationships all the wrong way!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Approaching relationships all the wrong way!
11
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 10:11am

I had an EPIPHANY this morning!

I miss the guy who is divorcing; my daughter, 20, misses the guy she met a few weeks ago who lives 3 hours away and whom she is disappointed isn't pursuing her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 10:43am

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 10:59am

I agree and I also think at our ages we cant sit around waiting for someone to make up their minds or whatever.

Remember the young guy from the wedding I went to?? Well his birthday is a day before mine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 11:27am

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 11:34am

Thanks Julia. I am not sure about exorcising him from my mind at 6 PM sharp, but I am damn sure that's his deadline - forever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 11:39am

well June is very close and if he asks you to wait you would only be waiting two months right?

Only thing is that I would want proof of the divorce and how is his emotional state also? I mean he could be divorced but still be a mess emotionally and that will take a few months longer.but if you think he is worth it you might go on the healing journey with him.

Ask him if that is what he would like.. You might be taking a year out of your life but like I said if he is worth it then go ahead.

So you run the risk of being hurt either way.. but you wont know till you tried..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 12:32pm

I think it's very good that you want clarity about what is going on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 1:28pm

Good move. I thought that you already talked about the future plans and the separation was temporary, but if not, then you definetely deserve some clarity. And maybe he can't even

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 6:49pm

So this feels ultra-neurotic and high schoolish to ask you all, but I wrote him this in this morning's text:

"Good Morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 6:58pm

I agree that if he doesn't reply at all then it definitely shows a lack of something on his part--it's not mature once you have been in communication w/ someone and gone on some dates

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 6:58pm

Wow.. I dont know this guy but I often wonder when I see or meet divorced men and woman I cant help think why did they get a divorce? That is why the big gurus say to tread slowly because this guy might be emotionally shut down and maybe that is why he and his wife broke up.He might be treating you the same way.. He is emotionally shut down ..

I mean even if we asked someone why they got divorced they will never give the honest answer.. Some people do grow apart but there are many other reasons.. Maybe your guy is not all you think he is cracked up to be and that would mean your radar might be on vacation or do you think its broken

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