Are guys intimidated by beauty?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Are guys intimidated by beauty?
29
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 3:37pm
I just don't understand it. EVERYONE tells me what a beautiful, sweet and fun person I am, and I just don't know why I'm not getting asked out. I've confided in a few people that no one has asked me out and they just cannot believe it. I don't want to sound full of myself, but I am a well put together package. Are men afraid to ask out women that are confident, independent and beautiful? Most men say this is what they want, but is it really? I'm so confused!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 7:56pm

I think (in relation to the "not wanting to be socially competetive" comment) you are probably in the minority, unfortunately.

One of my guy friends recently said to me (about being with an attractive woman over someone who's 'average') that "we don't know why we do it; we just do. We're competetive with each other, although it doesn't necessarily mean that's how we feel."

So if they don't know why they do it, how much hope do us "average" women have in the scheme of things? We can have a great personality, a loving heart, a keen mind, a sharp sense of humor, be laid back and easy going, but here comes that little blonde - and THAT's what matters. He doesn't know WHY he does it - he just does.

A comment a guy said to me once stands out in my mind: I was talking about prom and how I got dumped by my date just days beforehand because he got a date with one of the cheerleaders. My guy friend said, and I quote: "Think about it from his point of view: he can go out with you, or a cheerleader. Who do you THINK he's going to pick?"

Enough said. And my mother always said that guys mature as they get older and that all doesn't matter anymore. I think that life alone with my cat sounds better and better all the time.




Edited 2/5/2006 8:03 pm ET by emdeesea
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 10:06pm
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 11:56am
The reason I asked the question in the first place is because I AM that little blonde. I work hard at making sure that I smile and appear friendly after I realized that I was standing around with my arms folded and not smiling. I know I looked unapproachable, but I have taken strides to make myself more approachable. I always make sure I look my best at all times. Friends of mine have told me that they think guys are intimidated by me. A friend introduced me to a really nice guy on Sat. We didn't have anything in common though, but he told my friend that I was way out of his league and he doubted I would want to go out with him. I just don't know what else to do to meet men. Maybe I'm better off without a man in my life. I'm not really looking for marriage or a father for my 6-year old. I would just like to go to a grownup movie now and then! LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 7:38pm
Even the cute little blondes have hard times getting guys to talk to them :) The grass is always greener.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 10:46pm

Not from my experience. From my experience, me and one of my friends can walk into a bar together. She is a dead ringer for Sarah Michelle Gellar and me, well, I'm me. She immediately has a guy hit on her, go up to the microphone and dedicate a song to her - "The most beautiful girl in the room," and so forth, and SHE has the nerve to complain about how she "can't meet anyone," meanwhile, NO ONE even looks in my direction.

Yeah, I know the grass is greener. But I just don't want to hear about how hard it is to be beautiful. I'd LOVE to experience it for once.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 4:25am

Hi tammarella,

I am not intimidated by beautiful women but there are two things that always come to mind when I meet them.

1) She is probably already dating someone.
2) Why would she want to date me when she can have any man she wants?

I find that No.1 is true about 98% of the time. I don't normally test No.2....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:43pm
I am sure the men at the bar want a relationship with her.....LOL...dedicating a song sounds like work of a drunken horny foolish gy...LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 9:32am
Thanks for that insight hal. Those two things never even occured to me! Thinking back on it now, one of my friends told a guy I was interested in him and the first thing that came out of his mouth was "Doesn't she have a boyfriend?". This past weekend, a friend set me up with one of her guy friends and when I went to the bathroom he told her "I'd like to ask her out, but she's way out of my league". It's like guys won't even give me a chance because they are afraid of rejection or something. If it was more socially acceptable I would make the first move but from everything I've read, guys don't like that.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 1:13am

Depends on my mood and how courageous I feel, I strike up a conversation with a nice looking woman if there is eye contact or if she says something to someone else I can relate to. I approach all contact with the attitude of being friendly and not being attached to the outcome. I look to make a nice connection and if it goes further then fine, if not then I appreciate the moment. I do usually make a prejudgment that the more physically attractive the woman is, the less available she is. However I still look to making a momentary connection.. if nothing else it would be good practice for me *grin*

Mark

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