I only skimmed over the article but most of it made sense to me. I can totally see where an aggressive woman would be great in the beginning but once the relationship turns serious, I can see that becoming an issue.
It's like this girlfriend of mine. She is VERY assertive. So, when something isn't just so at lunch, she doesn't hesitate for a second to send it back which, sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. However, when I go car shopping, THIS is the girl I want to take with me. You see? There are pros and cons.
"Figuring out their roles in relationships as women have become increasingly financially independent, increasingly sexually liberated, and increasingly determined not to let their biological clocks dictate their relationship status." I can see where this would be confusing to a man. What is his purpose? I think most men like to feel needed. I have had a lot of men tell me "It's not so much the girl but how the girl makes me feel about myself".
I had a friend who was in graduate school. She met a great guy at college but they were extremely competitive. I think that's what ultimately drove him away. She would allow him to do next to nothing to help her, with anything. I think he may have been intimidated by both her intelligence and her independence.
He married a year after they graduated and she is still single. He ended up with a former model. I'm not saying models are dumb!!
Okay on to the bullets of the article.
The approach: this deals with the refreshing idea of the female approaching the male. Okay, this is just fine and dandy, until the women encounters one too many men who have been stalked or brow beaten by an over aggressive woman. I dated an English man once who called these women "Bunny Boilers", LOL. I've played the coy role as well as the aggressive one and honestly, I think both approaches are equally rewarding.
The link: this deals with women wanting to put labels on things too early. I think this is common sense and is an insult to the savvy women out there. C'mon, don't we know to keep our mouths shut about labels until the guy decides to classify things?
The hook-up: Okay, this portion just made me plain sick. I don't even want to discuss it. If any of you are curious, check out shy's link in the original post.
Relationship Point: The plaeau: See above.
Relationship Point: At the Crossroads: I agree completely. Some guys need a little push. Just a teeney-tiny one ; )
--Great article, shy. Thanks! And, by the way, I don't own any red shoes but I think I may go out and purchase some ; )
I read this article last night as well and it really irritated me.
It really seems to me that we women just can't win. If we let the guys do the work, we are too passive. If we go for what we want, we are too aggressive.
What I don't understand is this: women have had to evolve - why can't the men?
What I find most difficult about this whole concept is how to balance being aggressive enough to challenge a man but not to be TOO aggressive. Like the author said, guys like women who are somewhere in between but how do we know when we are going too far vs not far enough? It appears as if there are so many choices in people and so many things to worry about with dating nowadays that it stresses people out, when in reality we should just be comfortable being ourselves for the most part and if someone doesn't like it and tries to change us too much then we should definately walk. It works the other way too if we are trying to change the man too much and nag him then we should walk because obviously it's not good to fit square pegs into round holes and eventually drives the other person away. I think I strayed from the article topic a bit but these thoughts came to mind.
I only skimmed over the article but most of it made sense to me. I can totally see where an aggressive woman would be great in the beginning but once the relationship turns serious, I can see that becoming an issue.
It's like this girlfriend of mine. She is VERY assertive. So, when something isn't just so at lunch, she doesn't hesitate for a second to send it back which, sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. However, when I go car shopping, THIS is the girl I want to take with me. You see? There are pros and cons.
"Figuring out their roles in relationships as women have become increasingly financially independent, increasingly sexually liberated, and increasingly determined not to let their biological clocks dictate their relationship status." I can see where this would be confusing to a man. What is his purpose? I think most men like to feel needed. I have had a lot of men tell me "It's not so much the girl but how the girl makes me feel about myself".
I had a friend who was in graduate school. She met a great guy at college but they were extremely competitive. I think that's what ultimately drove him away. She would allow him to do next to nothing to help her, with anything. I think he may have been intimidated by both her intelligence and her independence.
He married a year after they graduated and she is still single. He ended up with a former model. I'm not saying models are dumb!!
Okay on to the bullets of the article.
The approach: this deals with the refreshing idea of the female approaching the male. Okay, this is just fine and dandy, until the women encounters one too many men who have been stalked or brow beaten by an over aggressive woman. I dated an English man once who called these women "Bunny Boilers", LOL. I've played the coy role as well as the aggressive one and honestly, I think both approaches are equally rewarding.
The link: this deals with women wanting to put labels on things too early. I think this is common sense and is an insult to the savvy women out there. C'mon, don't we know to keep our mouths shut about labels until the guy decides to classify things?
The hook-up: Okay, this portion just made me plain sick. I don't even want to discuss it. If any of you are curious, check out shy's link in the original post.
Relationship Point: The plaeau: See above.
Relationship Point: At the Crossroads: I agree completely. Some guys need a little push. Just a teeney-tiny one ; )
--Great article, shy. Thanks! And, by the way, I don't own any red shoes but I think I may go out and purchase some ; )
Edited 3/15/2007 2:16 am ET by cfk_3
I read this article last night as well and it really irritated me.
It really seems to me that we women just can't win. If we let the guys do the work, we are too passive. If we go for what we want, we are too aggressive.
What I don't understand is this: women have had to evolve - why can't the men?
I feel the same way.