Aspberger's syndrome...
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Aspberger's syndrome...
| Sun, 04-15-2007 - 4:33pm |
Hmmm... I am the one who wrote about a bad fix up... and I think I want to hear if other people know about this form of autism, which is commonly known as a social disorder... aspberger's syndrome? Can anyone out there tell me more about it? What are some of the cues and how often do people who have this lead normal lives (get married, have children, hold down employment?) Just curious, as I believe the man I was fixed up with had it.

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There's a write-up on Asperger's on Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
My BF has it. And I was just telling my parents about it today.
People with Asberger's are typically HIGHLY intelligent. They are usually obsessed with the things THEY find interesting and can tell you anything and everything about this one thing.
But socially, they are really bad off. They have no idea how to relate to others, have no idea what social cues are, they can't read faces, and don't realize that there are some things that are socially completely inappropriate.
I think people who have it probably have it in differing degrees. My BF is pretty functional for the most part. He managed to acquire a Ph.D in Microbiology (maybe because of the syndrome?) and he holds down a full time job at the university he works at. However, he IS at a disadvantage because he has no idea how to read social cues - he can't read people's faces, in fact, he can't even REMEMBER faces, and he is obsessed with certain things like rocks, tropical fish, and "Lord of the Rings," and can't understand why others aren't interested and get bored when he goes on about them. He has very few friends because people eventually get sick of him being rude, when in reality he's not really being rude, he honestly doesn't know any better! I can't tell you how many times he's said something to me, and I've had to tell him how inappropriate that was. He's usually good - he'll apologize and he won't do it again, but it's like he's LEARNING how to behave in public.
Do they get married? Yeah I guess, but those who marry them do have to be VERY tolerant and understanding of this syndrome. It can be exhausting.
Edited 4/15/2007 10:37 pm ET by emdeesea
I worked with a man with who has Asperger's. He's a highly respected attorney but he's challenging to interact with socially because he just goes ON and on about things and does not get cues--you have to just be direct and cut him off. I honestly don't know how he deals with juries but somehow he does, and does it well. He's married with a daughter, who has Asperger's also--I think worse than he does, at least from the limited interactions I've had with her at baseball games (I share season tickets in a group with this guy so we sometimes end up at games together). I like him but he takes some getting used to, that's for sure.
Some of the things you've said about your BF now make a lot more sense, emdeesea. You must have the patience of a saint ;-)!
Sheri
I dated someone when I was younger who I think may have had Asperger's as well.
>Some of the things you've said about your BF now make a lot more sense, emdeesea. You must have the patience of a saint ;-)!<
Yeah it makes more sense now but doesn't always make it easier. He's highly functional and a good guy underneath it all but honestly there are times when I want to punch him dead in the face and shake him and scream at him "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU STILL ACT LIKE THIS AT 37!!"
My younger sister has ADD real bad and I grew up playing Jiminy Cricket to her Pinocchio. She would stay really stupid and rude things to people and I'd have to smooth it out to keep her from constantly being beat up at school. So I guess I come by it honestly.
Smile,
Deirdre
>Okay but if he actually does have asberger's syndrome I mean it's not like it's something that is his fault. That's like wanting to punch a schizophrenic in the face because they hear voices in their head.<
Yeah - and that's why I'm still with him because, believe me, I came REAL close several times to throwing it all away because he can be very hurtful sometimes. I realize it's not done intentionally, but it still hurts. And I just remind myself of that: that he doesn't *realize* he's being hurtful. He just thinks he's communicating like everyone else.
And then there are days when he tells me, "Whatever you want - I'll do it for you." THAT'S what makes me stay.
From what you describe, that sounds like Asbergers.
OMG, yeah, he did sometimes have a "skippety" thing going on - he didn't do it all the time, but every now and then, he'd start skipping around and doing a weird thing with his arms, almost like a bird flapping its wings.
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