Back to the drawing board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Back to the drawing board
24
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 9:53am
Hi everyone and happy new year! Well, back to the dating pool for me. My second relationship of 2011 ended - my choice, but still a bummer. So here we go again. Last January, after the end of a 2 year relationship and I started dating again, I decided to accept that no one is perfect and to continue dating a guy even if I had slight reservations. However, all that seems to happen is that the small things that bothered me about him initially magnify into large things. At my age - mid-fifties, the choices are not that large, but try as I do, it seems hard to compromise. Next step for me is to go back on Mach.com and to try speed dating which I've never really done. BTW - for those who have done both paid and free dating sites have you seen any difference in the quality of communications? I feel that paid is better as there is an incentive for the guys not to be on the site forever, and so they are more likely to be actually looking for a relationship. But I'm not sure so would be interested in your thoughts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 10:04am
Match.com not Mach.com - LOL. Maybe subconsciously I was thinking macho.com :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 10:14am

I suppose it varies by area, but from what I've seen there are a lot of guys who are on both match & POF--and some guys are on match perpetually--the cost really isn't that much or I bet a lot join up initially for a year at a time.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 11:36am

In my neck of the woods, Match.com is better than POF (aka "Plenty of Freaks). I've never been to a speed dating event, but I have been to "singles" events and I really hate them. I think it's far better (for me) to just go do things I like, and meet people that way.

Best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 12:23pm

Hi Gal,

I live in LA, a huge metropolitan area, and I've tried every single online dating service there is, I'm sure, in the last +17 yrs I've been single-again. I've never been to a speed dating event nor "Just Lunch" or anything like that. Those would make me as nervous as going to bars.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 1:01pm

Thanks Marina. Good to know about the options. Interesting take on Match. I live in a large metropolitan area also and have dated men I met on Match which I've been on and off sporadically, but never had much luck. The last 3 relationships I've had were with guys I met in real life, and I much prefer meeting men that way. However, on-line gives you a much bigger pool. The one man I liked from Match I found out later was a serial dater - he had been out with 200 women in

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 1:54pm

Wouldn't you think that would be so tiring, having to constantly meet new people? I did know someone like that--I met him through OLD but we never actually went out on a date because he invited me to join the Parents without Partners group that he belonged to so that was our first actual in person meeting--we kind of became friends and then I met my 2nd DH in that group.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 2:27pm

oh; I am going to be cynical here and say look at your guys giving dating advice and its so cute..but what the hell do we know (lol)

No; I am on POF and okcupid.. I like POF sometimes when a decent guy writes to me. I have met in two years

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 7:16pm

Welcome back to the ranks of singlehood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 11:42pm
Yes totally agree - quality is more important than quantity. Just put up my profile on Match and received multiple winks from guys on the other side of the country. What are they thinking !!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 12:05am

So Gal, forgive me if this is a detour of your post, but I'd love your and others' feedback.

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