Back to the drawing board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Back to the drawing board
24
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 9:53am
Hi everyone and happy new year! Well, back to the dating pool for me. My second relationship of 2011 ended - my choice, but still a bummer. So here we go again. Last January, after the end of a 2 year relationship and I started dating again, I decided to accept that no one is perfect and to continue dating a guy even if I had slight reservations. However, all that seems to happen is that the small things that bothered me about him initially magnify into large things. At my age - mid-fifties, the choices are not that large, but try as I do, it seems hard to compromise. Next step for me is to go back on Mach.com and to try speed dating which I've never really done. BTW - for those who have done both paid and free dating sites have you seen any difference in the quality of communications? I feel that paid is better as there is an incentive for the guys not to be on the site forever, and so they are more likely to be actually looking for a relationship. But I'm not sure so would be interested in your thoughts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 8:31am
Marina, as the Aussies say - too right !!! I never got as much attention on Match as the first month I was on. It's the Fresh Meat phenomena. I think the trick would be to create a brand new profile each time you rejoin so you look like you are new to the site. I tried but cunning Match knew who I was right away. Age is an issue also. If you think pickings are slim when you are in your mid to late forties, try mid- fifties. I have a friend who reduced her on-line age by 8 years. I don't do that although have shaved off a few months, mainly as I didn't want to give Match my birth date for security reasons. I try to be honest in my profile because there is so much lying already on these sites that it goes against the grain for me to add to it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 11:20am

I did notice this one guy who kept changing his screen name every couple of weeks--it really got to be a kick for me cause I couldn't imagine why he was doing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 11:32am

oh; Dear I guess I have to shoot myself because I am 57 and yes its slim pickins... Of course the men OLD are t yping in under that age. I know that because

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 11:38am

I suspect if we can easily see how deceptive and "shallow" they are for wanting either a much younger woman or a thin, pretty one, then perhaps if they think about it, there are common denominators among us, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 11:51am

Actually I think its basically OLD that is the dilemma because on a good day when I dress up and look decent I have attracted men and they dont know my age.. I have gone out with younger and I was in my fifties so IRL its much different.

That is why I have seen the same men OLD for two years

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 12:22pm

what do you all post in the income category? the box where you check off your income? under 35K, over $100K etc? I had left it blank for a long time. this time I put in

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 1:03pm

I didnt know there was a category for that on POF.. if there is I am sure I have left it blank or put under 35,000.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 4:36pm

Well since I'm short I don't care if a man is tall and I'm not looking for wealthy either, just middle class would be fine by me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 4:39pm

I leave it blank cause I certainly don't want to start off w/ a stranger knowing what my income is--that's no one's business anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 9:20pm
Thanks Music. I just went on Match and took my income off. They can see I have an MBA and make their own conclusions. But I don't want to attract anyone who is interested in my income.