Backhanded compliments

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Backhanded compliments
5
Sat, 02-25-2012 - 10:32pm
I know there's some guy who makes money off of teaching men how to compliment us and insult us at the same time. It's ridiculous that men feel the need to do that, but we all know that it really only works on insecure women. Smart ladies like us see right through them.

What pisses me off is that there are men who have grown up giving them under the premise that it's funny. "Great new haircut honey! Lose ten pounds and you'll really be hot!" Or "I'm so proud that you got that great new job! I won't have to support you anymore!" That last one was left as a comment to my sister on Facebook by her husband. It infuriates me. He's not a bad guy, but he thinks insults are funny. My niece (his step daughter) is at the end of her rope with him. Guess who he doesn't do it with? ME. He knows better. I'd have words with him if he did. And if he'd made the comment to my sister in real life, I'd have called him in it, too. I'm rather protective like that!!

I had to vent. If he didn't make comments like that all the time, it would tick me off so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 9:07pm

The men who take those Sterling courses or other "how to get laid more often" creep me out - and I know several disciples of those methods - all male, of course.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 6:49pm
I'm kind of like that, too. Except when it's directed at my family or friends. Then the claws tend to come out!
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 12:16pm

Sometimes I can let things like that roll off my back and sometimes I will rip ones head off.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 11:21am
Yep, the public part annoys me bc I can't really say anything back without looking petty. I almost did, though. I don't really get why people ever think insults are funny. I grew up around lots of people like that and for awhile tried it out myself as a teenager. It just made me feel mean! Maybe that's why so many men tend to annoy me. It seems like they are more often the ones with that sense of humor. Probably because with their guy friends, it's no big deal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 10:45am

If I were your sister I'd be pretty annoyed at that kind of public embarrassing comment--it might be funny if they were alone and he was saying it in a way that she really knew he was joking, like when my 16 yr old son who is just learning how to drive makes comments about women being bad drivers--cause I know he's doing it to get a rise out of me and I know he doesn't really mean it.